I may look normal but when i see cats i keep meowing at them until they meow me back.

People Who Understand Harry Potter Movies ,
Are Mentally Disturbed

*PATIENT: Can a pregnancy drink beer if 9 months is not arrive?

DOCTOR: Forget about the beer..this type of English can cause miscarriage.😂😂😂😂😂*

Me : damn nobody ever calls me

Someone calling me

Me: Damn wtf you want

” I drink when there is an event or only festive.”

Good for you. 🤚🏽 🙄
Why do you tell me that you drink
when there is free alcohol? 🤨

*I’m hosting a party*
*Free food🥞🍔*
*Free Alcohol*🍷🥂🍻
*Entrance: Your Grade 1 report*
😂😂😂

If your husband left yesterday and he just came home today…just know he is one of the men from east who were following the star.

Atleast someone loves me and fights for me
Thank you White Blood Cell!

15 years from now, I can see myself living in a mansion with a handsome engineer with 2 kids. The two kids will call him papa, while they’ll call me yaya.

Look how grown up you are and at that age but you still cant pronounce “PERSPICATICATICANONACIOUS” Shame on you!!!!!mxm….

Mom on Christmas:

“Take screwdriver unscrew TV and take out custard and mayonnaise”

Me: 😲😳

There is someone who doesn’t even know a high school gate but they are busy talking about matric results!

Guys I’m feeling a bit upset right now, i have stress maybe I can be okay so can you please do me a favour just leave the group .I need some time alone .
Thanks In Advance.

You borrow 500 from your wife and then after two days you give her 1500 without saying anything. She will still ask for the 500 you borrowed from her. “Honey, the 500 wasn’t mine the owner is seriously disturbing me”.
…The world is not funny without women I tell you…