I deleted all Eminem’s song’s even my mother
doesn’t shout at me like that

I only want one girlfriend but if God gives me Five,
Who am i to say no?

Keep On Forgiving Him while You Are still Looking for Someone to Replace with

You are bathing and someone mistakenly open your door,,*
*what will you hide,,,,,,,*
*Me::i will hide my soap

It doesn’t matter if you don’t drink alcohol and smoke
you also gonna die you healthy bastards

I gave up on English the Day I realized that “manslaughter” is not the sound a Man makes while Laughing..

A woman called the police station
one evening
and said, “My husband has gone out
with a
girlfriend and right now am going
after them . I
have a gun and when I find them, I
will kill both
them right away “. The police
asked, “Where
exactly have they gone ?”. Woman
:They went to
watch a certain Comedian show .
The police
rushed quickly and went to the
place and make
sure they arrived earlier than the
woman . When
they reached the place , they took
the mic from
the Comedian and start announcing,
“If there is a
married man here and has come with
a
girlfriend ,you must leave
immediately. Your wife
is coming right now with a gun to shoot
both of
you dead “. The police were
surprised that the
door became small as everyone was
running out
and the show ended because even the
Comedian
himself ran out

If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send someone else
to pick it up for me.

Yesterday i was in town, saw this beautiful lady waving and i waved back. Well she wasn’t waving at me but to this guy standing next to me. So to avoid the awkwardness i kept my hand up, the taxi stopped. Now I’m in Mozambique starting a new life

Sometimes you don’t realize your love for someone until they buy a car

Am I the only one who randomly slaps a 10kg of Rice in the store for no reason?

This thing of sleeping with a phone in your hand
Look now I just bought a house online

The nice thing about Facebook, even if they don’t like your posts.
Rest assured they see & feel them..!

Women don’t communicate the problem.
They expect men to figure what the problem is and get mad when they don’t..!

If you can’t control your woman…
Then you’ve found the right one..!

Remember when you thought you’d die when your ex left you?
Look at you now, all strong and ready for the next heartbreak.