7year old’s having Iphones..
when I was 7 I had a plastic phone that went
tring tring, whoof whoof, can I help you

if we’re dating , putting me on your profile picture isn’t enough ,
I wanna be your ringtone too

When you think about it, you don’t really wash your hands,
they just wash each other and you just stand there looking at them
like some kind of supervisor

A pilot on an aeroplane said: Ladies & Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude, all the baggages must be thrown out.
.
A while later, the pilot said: we are still losing altitude, we must throw out everything that is in the cabin.
.
The plane continue to descend despite more things being thrown out.
.
The pilot said: “We are still going down, we must throw out some people.”
.
There was a big gasp from the passengers.
.
The pilot continued “But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.”
.
So “A” any African on board??
.
Nobody moved.
.
The pilot said “B” Any Blacks on board?
.
The pilot said “C” any coloured on board?
.
Still nobody moved.
.
The pilot said “D” any Darkies on board?
.
.
An African boy asked his Dad: Dad, arent we Black people? The Dad said “My son tonight we are Zulus”

A Boy Post : Just graduated , I’m going to be a Lawyer =13Likes
.
A Girl Post : Just went to the toilet = 227Likes
.
WTF is happening to this WORLD ??

Me:mom our kettle is not working we
should throw it at the dump site
Mom:why?
Me:because its useless
Mom:wena did we throw U away when U
were born?

Being poor really hurts, you’ll even take selfies while eating pizza.

When you are no longer in love with a guy
, the sound of his snoring irritates you ,
but when you are still in love with him you
will be tempted to record it and use as
your ringtone

You’ll be dating your girl in peace and then
1 fool will give her a lift in a Range Rover
Sport….and she will start behaving like an
android phone which needs to be flashed..

“I was just checking on you….”
Means, “I love you” you fool, wake up!!!

You having a nice laugh with a nurse in a
taxi then all of sudden she says “HIV needs
you to be like this, you need to laugh with
people”

Don’t Be Surprised If Your Boyfriend
Doesn’t Marry You, it’s Not Easy Paying For
Something That You Already Ate

Ladies,if He kisses u on ur
forehead,it doesn’t mean He is
very romantic nee
Ur mouth may be smelling.

When you’re Single,You See Happy
Couples Everywhere, But When you get
Married, You See Happy Singles Everywhere*.
*This witchcraft is difficult to explain*

Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.

*Dating a Married Man is not the problem until*
*you see your name saved as engine oil.*