You don’t realise you need a new underwear
until you’re in a relationship

One Day You Will Want To Inbox Me
But I will Be Married
So Please Use This Time Wisely

Can’t stop laughing 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

I will never lie again.

Today I was coming back from church, in the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very proud of myself because I sat next to her. I did all the signs I could to make her feel my presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I can’t make it today because I’ve just received a call from our CEO asking me to replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell when u
were taking your phone out of your pocket…..🙄
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the kombi

A grade 2 kid was coming from school he entered the taxi and he started singing “if my father was a King my mother will be a Queen and I’ll be a Prince”
The taxi driver silenced the kid but the kid continued “if my father was the President my mother will be the First Lady and I’ll be the First Son”
then with anger the taxi driver asked the kid “what if your father was a robber what will your mother be and what will you be”
and the boy said “if my father was a robber my mother will be a prostitute and I’ll be a taxi driver!!!!!!?

Guys, you’re all invited to our wedding ( me & Mpho )
Date : 02-march-2019
Time : 10h00 am
Venue : Anywhere you see a tent

Are you single guys?
If so, go to Moria and say ” anytime is tea time ” right in front of girls

Sometimes God will bring back your Ex
just to check if you are still stupid

I Knew That One Day We Will Forget About
Distruction Boys

As long as you keep saying “When can i see you” Instead of
“Lets go out for lunch” we’ll forever say
“I’ll let u know when im free

When they increase the price of alcohol
they must also increase the percentage!

2019 Calendar is Fake 😕😒 ,
i Can’t Even Find 29th February Shame

1. You buy underwears at Pep & on
facebook
you write:”I love Truworths
underwears” ***God
is watching you
2. You’re a married man with 2 kids &
on
facebook you always claim to be
single. ***God
is watching you
3. You’re 21 yrz old & you’re dating a
man of
54 years your updates says “can’t wait
to see
my baby.” Is that your baby or your
daddy?
***God is watchng you
4. You’re are drinking ice water & you
update
“I’m drinking Johny Walker on the
rocks”
***God is watchng you
5. You’re in the house watching WWE
raw but
you check-in to Nu- metro cinemas .
***God is
watching you
6. You work in retail & you update
“had a long
day in the office” ***God is watching
you
7. You are waiting for a taxi & you
update
stuck in traffic thank God for the
aircon. ***God
is watching you
8. You are the hopeless school
dropout but on
facebook you claim to be a CEO of a
certain
company. ***God is watching you
# You read ds status, it makes u smile and you didn’t comment or even press like……. I am telling you God is watching you

People who buy a car and don’t post it on Facebook you are too matured but as for me when I buy a car, I will not only post it, but also park it in your timeline

if you meet a woman that admits when she’s wrong and apologizes… 🙅🏻‍♀️
dump her that might be a man, women don’t do that