Being a first born is not easy….
Automatically u become a deputy parent

Guys I don’t like to argue😕

I dumped her because she said they say: “All rights in court”😐 and i told her they say: “All rice in court”…She disagreed with me😑…so i can’t continue with a fool

Convo between Rich and His Girlfriend

Girl: “Hi”😶
Rich: “hi babe”😊☺☺
Girl: “Babe I’m worried”😯
Girl: “I’ve missed my period”😨😨😨
Girl: “I think I’m pregnant”🙆
Girl: “are u there?”😦
Girl: “Babe u not answering my calls”😡
Girl: “Rich!!!”
Girl: “stop ignoring me, speak!!!”😭😭😭

[2 minutes later]

Rich: “The owner of this phone is dead just died in an accident, This Mr Lantjie”😡

Girl: “Don’t go there at all, this is your handwriting”😠

Rich: “No its not me, I’m really dead”

Parents Please take your children to Sunday School😒

A teacher came to class and asked a question😕

Teacher: “who killed Goliath”😐
Bill: “Its not me”😐
Steve: “I don’t know”😯
Rich: “I wasn’t at school that day”😩

The teacher went to the Headmaster’s office and told the Headmaster that students in his class don’t know who killed Goliath😟

The HM came to that class and asked…

HM: “who killed Goliath”😕
Class: “We are not the ones”😐
HM: “If u don’t tell me who killed Goliath…you’ll see fire today”😡
Class: “we don’t know”😨

The Headmaster turned to the teacher and asked: “Are you sure Goliath was killed by someone from this class??”😞

[The teacher fainted]

After a terrible accident Bill was crying😭😭😭

Bill: “Oh God i have lost my letf hand”😨😨😨

Rich: “Control yourself my friend! Stop crying!😕 see that man laying over there, he has lost his head😒, is he crying?”

If you are a ‘Side chick’ you not
Allowed to send texts Like:
“Hey Honey can I come and
visit you?”
•°•°•
You send texts Like: “Hello
Coach, Is there Any Practice
Today?”

Sleeping next to your new Bae for the first time is tough…
you have to breathe in English ..
.not too loud, not too deep and not too fast..

You’re so hot, you must be the cause for global warming

What do you call a group of people where two people are thinking of Love
& all other are thinking of food? . . . . . . . .
WEDDING

Men will be Men:

Wife leaves a note on the fridge: “I have made all attempts. It’s not working.
I can’t take it anymore. I am going to stay at my Mom’s place !! 😡😥

Husband opens the fridge, checks the beer bottle. Feels it is cold. He takes a few big gulps from the bottle. Feels it is chilled. Then says to himself, “What the hell is she talking about???

Fridge is working fine!!”

In an investment seminar a man saw a beautiful lady and fell in love instantly. He proposed to her. However, being a financial planning expert, she asked him about his background….
He said – “..well, I am an ordinary man today, but in a few months, after my ailing father dies, I will inherit a Rs 300 crore property …😊”

The lady was deeply impressed …and they exchanged their business cards…

…and within a month
the lady walked into his house as his step mother…😜

Moral: Investment is subject to market risks…👉😢
Do NOT sell your dream to others before it becomes a reality

Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.

After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25.

Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them.

Then she finally picked up one dress.

It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.

The husband settled the bill and commented :
“Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time.”

Ultimate comment of wife :
“Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky u have to just sit in AC shop…”

Moral ::: Never argue with a woman while shopping.

A guy & his wife both made a list of 5 people they’re allowed to sleep with if they ever got the opportunity.

She picked Brad Pitt, Jhonny Depp, Salman Khan, Ranbir Kapoor and Ranveer Singh.

He just picked her sister, her cousin, her best friend, their nextdoor neighbour and their son’s third grade teacher.

*Men are simple like that….they set achievable goals.*

FINAL EXAM PAPER for *LAW STUDENTS:*

Q. A Woman was driving a *Maruti* car. She mistakenly hit a *BMW* car.

The lady came out from her BMW, insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her BMW

The Maruti car Woman called *her husband*, he replied -“I am very busy & please try fix up the Matter by urself”

The BMW lady called her *Boyfriend* and said *Sweetheart someone just hit the Birthday Gift you gave me,* I am so angry, please come over..”

Few minutes later her *Boyfriend arrived.* He is the *Husband* to the lady with the *Maruti* car!!!!

Discuss the possible *legal consequences* for all 3 parties.. (20 Marks)

After completion of my B.Tech from a recognised college I Got a decent job in MNC as a Engineer.

Under tremendous pressure from family to get married, I went to meet a girl under the arranged marriage system of India. After meeting, the girl rejected me upfront because she didn’t like my Job. I was furious and told her ” Just wait and see after 5 years where this job is going to take me. You will be sorry”. Of course, I moved on and got married to another girl a year later.
After 5 years,
I saw the same beautiful lady at a traffic signal with her husband in a brand new Audi. And I was trying to kick start my Activa because the battery start was not working. She looks out of the car and briefly looks at me but without any hint of recognition due to helmet, and moves her eyes away!

At that moment, after driving a two wheeler for over 5 years, first time in my life I realized the value of a helmet.
😂😂😂

So always wear a helmet in your own safety!

Issued in the public interest by a sincere Engineer

A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Son- in- laws for their good nature.

For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note: From your Mother In Law.

Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note : From your Mother In Law.

Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note:

from your Father In Law!