1. Girls who don’t wear half naked to get
boys attention…
2. Girls who don’t ask too much……
3. Girls who don’t post half naked pics to
get many likes on facebook…..
4. Girls that don’t sleep with every guy……
Do we still have such girls?……………
Yes or No..

The Japanese are obsessed with quality
and safety.
A safety warning notice for female
workers in a Japanese factory reads as
follows:
*If your skirt is long,*
*stay away from the Engines.*
*And If it is short,*
*stay away from the Engineers.*

When you build a house let your wife
decorate the ceiling, she has seen more
ceiling designs than you

In África we dont need Halloween,
.
Some girls make-ups are good enough to
scare us

Are you sad?
Is your boyfriend cheating on you?
Is he hurting you?
.
.
Listen and listen carefully,
It’s non of my business Bcuz you refuse to
date me, nonsense!

Yesterday I was with my Girlfriend in my room..
.
Mmmm this weather though..after some minutes she told me to make her feel like a woman…I quickly collected dirty clothes and give them to her..
Suddenly she left and I hope she’s going to buy soap

Who told people that if you want to see that
microphone is working you must say “one two one two

Why I Fired My Secretary I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,”I’m another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, “Happy birthday, dear. ” All smiles, I went in to breakfast, and there sat my wife, reading her newspaper, as usual. She didn’t say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee, made some toast and thought to myself, “Oh well,she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes, smiling and happy, and they will sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and have a nice gift for me. ” There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally, the kids came running into the kitchen,yelling, “Give me a slice of toast! I’m late! Where is my coat? I’m going to miss the bus! ” Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office. When I walked into the office, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful “Happy birthday, boss. ” She then asked if she could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better. Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said, “Since it’s your birthday, why don’t we have lunch together? ” Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, “That’s a good idea. ” So we locked up the office, and since it was my birthday, I said, “Why don’t we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place? ” So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and an ice lunch. We started driving back to town, when my secretary said, “Why don’t we go to my place, and I will fix you another martini. ” It sounded like a good idea, since we didn’t have much to do in the office. So we went to her apartment, and she fixed us some martinis. After a while, she said, “If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable,” and she left the room. In a few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids. And there I sat with nothing on but my socks.”

Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife
when he goes to work,
why don’t you do that?
Husband: How can I ?
I don’t even know her.

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby’s father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe.

My GF asked me today For my facebook password, . . .
We laughed and laughed and laughed… . .
Now Im single.

When your girlfriend say ” I’m out with my friends” and you ask her which ones? And she says “You don’t know them” 🙁
.
My brother you better be prepared, you might as well start processing the break-up papers. She’s cheating sham

5 ways for a Woman to be
completely happy.
1. Be with a man that makes
you laugh
2. Be with a man that gives you
his time
3. Be with a man that takes
care of you
4. Be with a man that really
loves you
5. Most important, make sure
these four men dont know
each other.

ATMs should have timers! When your time is up, it should swallow your card and spray tear gas at you…
Honesty, we are tired of people who play candy crush at the ATM mxm

What is Mhlolo?
.
Mhlolo is when you give a lift to a
beautiful girl and she faints in your car. You take her to the
hospital and the doctor says she is pregnant and
congratulates you that you will soon be a father . You shout
that you are not the father but the girl insist that you are the
father……Things are now getting Mhloloful you now require a
DNA test to prove that you are not the father…Things
become Mhlolostic when the doctor comes with results
saying you cannot be the father because you are infertile….
You are relieved but on your way home you remember you
are married with three kids at home!….. Now you are
extremely Mhlolicious Now you begin to ask yourself who is
the father to those three kids?… Now you get home to find
out the father to those kids is your gateman … You are now
Mhloloned You then decide to go to your mum to tell her the
sad news… Your mum with tears running down her cheeks
tells you ‘my son I’m so sorry….your dad isn’t your real
dad’…. Then you know things are Mhlolocated And if you
dont forward this you are a Mhlolocriosis

A Man In USA Sees A Dog Attacking A Girl.

He Kicks The Dog And Dog Dies.

Newspapers Report: “Local Hero Saves Girl From Dog”

Man Says: “I Am Not American.”

Report Changed: “Foreign Hero Saves Girl From Dog”

Man Says: “Actually, I Am Pakistani.”

Breaking News: “Terrorist Killed Innocent Dog Which Was Playing With A Girl.”