Church is the best place to go after a break up.
You’ll be in the crowd crying and everybody
will be thinking you caught the Holy Spirit

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W A R N I N G
.
Please share this important warning with all your circles if you truly care.
.
Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. Last night evening, a friend of mine while drinking and driving, put his arm out of the window to indicate that he was turning right and someone grabbed his beer and ran away

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Joke of the day: 😂😂😂😂😂

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly,
sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

Then the woman’s husband unexpectedly comes home.

She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.

The little Boy says:
“Dark in here.”

The Man says:
“Yes, it is.”

Boy:
;I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?”

Man:
;No, thanks.”

Boy:
;My dad’s outside, I’ll call him if you don’t buy it!”

Man:
“OK, how much?”

Boy: 😜😜😜
“$1,000.”

A few weeks later it happened again , and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.

Boy:
“Dark in here.”

Man:
;Yes, it is.”

Boy:
“I have soccer boots.”

The Man, remembering the last time, and asks the boy:
“How much?”

The Boy says 😜😜😜
“$5,000.”

The Man says:
“Fine, I will buy them.”

A few days later, the Father says to the boy:
“Grab your ball and boots,
let’s go outside and have a game.”

The Boy says:
“I can’t, I sold them for $ 6,000.”

The Father says:😳😳😳😳😳
“That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost.

I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your “SINS.”

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The Boy says:
“Dark in here.”
😜😜😜😜😜

The Priest says:
“Don’t start that shit again!”
😜💥🎈😜💥🎈😜💥🎈😜💥🎈
THIS IS MY CHURCH, NOT YOUR FATHER’S HOUSE !

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My girlfriend found a lipstick in my pocket.
I personally admitted that I am cheating….
I can’t tell her am selling Avon.
I want to eat my money in peace

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Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man replies, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?” The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

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ways to die in Africa

1.loosing your mom’s Tupperware during school trip 😕
2.eating the meat that was reserved for your father😕
3.taking out new faduku without your mom’s permission😕
4.using glasses and cups that are placed in room divider😕
5.admitting that you are 3yrs older in a taxi and your Mom end up paying full price😕
6.not going to your room when sex scene is shown on generation 😕
7.calling your mom by her name by mistake😕
8.not finishing your pap after you have eaten the meat😕
9.wearing weekend clothes during the week😕

the list still go on

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A woman called the police
station last Saturday evening
and said, “My husband has
gone out with a girlfriend
and right now am going after
them. I have a gun and when
I find them, I will kill both of
them right away”. The police
asked, “Where exactly have
they gone?”.
Woman: They went to watch
a certain Comedian show.
The police rushed quickly and
went to the place and made
sure they arrived earlier than
the woman. When they
reached the place, they took
the mic from the Comedian
and started announcing, “If
there is a married man here
and has come with a
girlfriend, you must leave
immediately. Your wife is
coming right now with a gun
to shoot both of you dead”.
The police were surprised
that the door became too
small as everyone was
running out and the show
ended because even the
Comedian himself ran out!!!

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You find a beautiful girl and the first thing
she asks you is “do you have another
girlfriend?”.
My dear have you ever seen someone
going to buy clothes while naked?

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ENGLISH KiLLERS
1. She killed her self and died
2. Give me a blue pen of any color.
3. She commited suicide but thank Good
she’s alive.
4. Pick up the paper and fall in the
dustbin.
5. Both of you stand together separately.
6. I have three daughters; Both are girls.
7. Seeing identical twins, the principal
said,”you look together, are you twice?”
8. Am craving for an orange juice with a
guava flavor.
9. You three girls, both of you come here
and follow me. I’m right behind you.
10. I Will like to thank my folks,not forgetting
my parents.
11. I woke up dead.
12. They are eating jealous of me.13. I have
a financial problem of money.
14. I never hurt people internationally.
15. Last week, John was shot dead and
recovered in hospital.
16. Close the window, this weather is
coming inside.
17. All of you stand together in acircle.
18. My favorite tea is coffee.
19. He was involved in a car accident of
airplanes.
20. Yes are cousins , our mothers are
brothers
21. Its better to kill myself than to commit
suicide.
22 Stop talking twice plz try 2 speak once
upon a time
23. Add more pliza

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You Break Her Heart We Take Her, We Fix It
We Marry Her That’s What We Do In
2018.

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Female size
.
Size 28 – Slender
Size 30 – Sexy
Size 32 – Adorable
Size 34 – Pakistan
Size 36 – Makoti
Size 38 – African woman
Size 40 – You Need herbax
.
Which one is yours ??

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The Relationship stress can damage your Health..
my Girlfriend told me it’s over while I was on my way to fetch my niece at pre-school then boom I came with a wrong child…

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I told a zulu-girl that I want to take her to cinema
and she said you know what “I hate that restaurent”…
.
I’ve been fainting since

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“I don’t date guys who don’t have cars”
says a girl who bath with soap
until it becomes size of a simcard

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If you borrowed R10 from your friend to
buy a lotto ticket and you won R10 million

How much would you give your friend

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I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in thirty minutes.Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, “Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?”Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!

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