This Is A Quote From Baba Saxidas Book Titled, How To Live Longer

Never Reject Any Girl In Your Life,

B’coz A Gud Girl Gives You Hapiness,

And A Bad Girl Gives You Experience,

Both Are Essential In Life…

So Enjoy Every Girl.

A Man Had Just Boarded And Settled Into His Seat Next To The Window On The Plane,

When Another Man Sat Down In The Aisle Seat And Put His Black Labrador In The Middle Seat Next To The Man.

The First Man Looked Very Quizzically At The Dog And Asked Why The Dog Was Allowed On The Plane.

The Second Man Explained That He Was From The Police Drugs Enforcement Agency And That The Dog Was A ‘Sniffing Dog’.

His Name Is Sniffer And He’s The Best There Is. I’ll Show You Once We Get Airborne, When I Put Him To Work.

The Plane Took Off, And Once It Has Leveled Out, The Policeman Said: “Watch This”

He Told Sniffer To ‘Search’

Sniffer Jumped Down, Walked Along The Aisle, And Finally Sat Very Purposefully Next To A Woman For Several Seconds.

Sniffer Then Returned To His Seat And Put One Paw On The Policeman’s Arm.

The Policeman Said: “Good Boy”

And He Turned To The Man And Said: “That Woman Is In Possession Of Marijuana, I’m Making A Note Of Her Seat Number And The Authorities Will Apprehend Her When We Land”

The First Man Replied: “Gee, That’s Pretty Good”

Once Again, The Policeman Sent Sniffer To Search The Aisles.

The Lab Sniffed About, Sat Down Beside A Man For A Few Seconds, Returned To Its Seat, And This Time He Placed Two Paws On The Agent’s Arm.

The Policeman Said: “Two Paws Mean That Man Is Carrying Cocaine, So Again, I’m Making A Note Of His Seat Number For The Police”

His Seat Mate Said: “I Like It!”

The Policeman Then Told Sniffer To ‘Search’ Again.

Sniffer Walked Up And Down The Aisles For A Little While, Sat Down For A Moment, And Then Came Racing Back To The Agent, Jumped Into The Middle Seat And Proceeded To Shit All Over The Place.

The First Man Was Really Disgusted By This Behaviour And Couldn’t Figure Out How Or Why A Well-Trained Dog Would Behave Like That So He Asked The Policeman: “What’s Going On?”

The Policeman Nervously Replied: “He’s Just Found A Bomb”

Why American Names Are Like – “Jackson, Wilson, Markson, Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davidson, Jemson, Johnson”

Because This Is The Easy Way For Mom To Remember Who Is Whose Son.

Getting Bored?
.
.
.
Need Some Fun In Life?

Go To A Stranger’s Wedding And Scream ……
Don’t Marry I Still Love You.

The Conversation Between Girlfriend And Boyfriend On Phone.

Girlfriend: “Baby, I Am In A Big Trouble.”
Boyfriend: “Why Is That?”

Girlfriend: “I Saw A Mouse In My House.”
Boyfriend: “Oh, Well, All You Need To Do Is Use A Trap.”

Girlfriend: “I Don’t Have A Trap.”
Boyfriend: “Well Then, Buy One.”

Girlfriend: “Can’t Afford One.”
Boyfriend: “I Can Give You Mine If You Want.”

Girlfriend: “That Sounds Good.”
Boyfriend: “All You Need To Do Is Just Use Some Cheese In Order To Make The Mouse Come To The Trap.”

Girlfriend: “I Don’t Have Any Cheese.”
Boyfriend: “Okay Then, Take A Piece Of Bread And Put A Bit Of Oil In It And Put It In The Trap.”

Girlfriend: “I Don’t Have Oil.”
Boyfriend: “Well, Then Put Only A Small Piece Of Bread.”

Girlfriend: “I Don’t Have Bread.”
Boyfriend: “Then What The F#ck Is The Mouse Doing At Your House?”

Rabbits Jump And They Live For 8 Years.

Dogs Run And They Live For 15 Years.

Turtles Do Nothing And They Live For 150 Years.

“Today’s Lesson Learned“

Dear black people. . . .
.
It’s Police-Station
Not Poly-Station
. . .Say it with me. . .”P-o-l-i-c-e S-t-a-t-i-o-n”

Nice thing about being black is that we can bury a person
we dont knw just to eat free food

Dear Taxi Drivers:

I think you must start putting calculators on that front seat so that we can work easily…
Hey maths is killing us shem

Let’s kill English
Me : i passed away here yesterday
where were you?

When you trying to be romantic by throwing
your
bae in bed and her head accidentally hits the
wall and she starts crying

This story touched my heart hope will touch
yours.
wife was in bed with her lover when she
heard her husband’s john key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so
drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed
with me.” Sure enough,
the john lurched into bed none the wiser,
but a few minutes later,
through a drunken haze, he saw six feet
sticking out at the end of the bed.
John turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six
feet in this bed.
There should only be four. What’s going
on?”
“Nonsense,” said the wife. “You’re so drunk
you miscounted.
Get out of bed and try again. You can see
better from over there.
” John climbed out of bed and counted.
“One, two, three, four. You’re right, you
know.”

Ugly girls be like
Him: Hi
Her: What???
Him: nothing, how are you?
Her: please i don’t have time just talk i
want to go somewhere else
Him: Sorry, i just wanted to ask you where
can i find beautiful girls

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.
WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got
washed.. I wrote your name in air, it was
blown away. Then I wrote your name on my
heart & I got Heart Attack.
HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created
YOU.
WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should
know what you are And once you know
what you are Mental hospital is not so far
HUSBAND: The rain makes all things
beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful Why
doesn’t it rain on you?
WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you, should be kept in zoo.
Don’t feel so angry you will find me there
too Not in cage but outside, laughing at you.
Mention your friends

She tag us and be like
I’m sleeping with Mbula and 32 others….
Like really..???
The truth will set you free….