A pastor was praying 4 a man possessed
with a demon.
He says”in the name of jesus
what do you want from dis man? ,speak
up before i cast you out dis moment!.
De demon answers,
“i want him to win de lotto draw worth
200bilion to night.
The pastor lowers de micro4nu an
whispers,” in jesus name, get
out of him and enter into me”

I will never lie again.
Today I was coming back from church, in
the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the
bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their
destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very
proud of myself because I sat next to her. I
did all the signs I could to make her feel my
presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I
took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys
always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I
can’t make it today because I’ve just
received a call from our CEO asking me to
replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge
country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range
Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her
dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I
will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that
she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u
surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell
when u
were taking your phone out of your
pocket…..
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the
kombi Happy new month.

Taking pictures in people’s cars and houses will confuse your ancestors,
they will think you are living a good life yet you are struggling.

My Ex Posted a Pic yesterday With Her Bae And Got 3 Likes..
im so happy

So your GF will be online Chatting to other ppl nd not even reading your text for HOURS
that’s worse than a blue tick.

Mara have you ever Met Bae 👫,
While you with your Bae 💏,
and while He is with His bae too

Do girls really look at other Girls butts🍑
and be like
“Damn i wish that was mine “

Marrying someone aged 35 years old and above is like
buying a newspaper in the evening……
You know it’s old news.

Iam a 27 year old handsome, hardworking, GOD fearing young man, an engineer, and looking for a cute hairy, beautiful, well structured and young black goat to buy for easter. Thanks

when wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body parts.
Men are so polite,they only look at the covered parts

It’s important to attend church because Pastor’s bills won’t pays itself

“All men are dogs” says the gender that got us kick out of heaven.

When A White Person Asks You For Directions
And In Your Head You’re Like
“You Stole This Land, You Should Know It”

Behind Every Successful Hangover
There’s A Promise Of Never Drinking Again

Father:Have you taken your maths test, son?
Son:Taken already.
Father:Did you get them all right?
Son:Only five wrong
Father:Not bad! By the way, how many sums altogether?
Son:Five.