Uma lina nangoDisemba, sizodesha ngayo le mvula.

Nakho nje ukufaka i-Knorrox ye-beef ku-chicken curry, kuyazandisa izinkinga obhekene nazo.

Umunt uzogezela evrandi kulo Disemba, phela nishiyana kabi nina. ✋🏽 😐

Likhona nakini leli dimoni elikhipha amanzi efrijini lingawabuyiseli, okukanye libuyisele isigubhu esingenalutho?

“Lizbethe mngani,
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Ngithi angikulobele le migqa embalwa ngikwazise ngesimanga esangehlakalela ngeSonto eledlule.
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Phela ngangiphuma enkonzweni ngalolu nyanyavu engaluthengelwa nguThibhoz noMdelwa, ngadlula kulesi sitolo esidayisa izincwadi zamaKhrestu (Christian bookshop). Ngangiyofuna iBhayibheli elisha njengoba leli ebengilisebenzisa linamakhasi angasaphelele.
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Nakhu-ke phela sengibona le bumper sticker ebhalwe ukuthi: HOOT IF YOU LOVE JESUS. Ngisithenge, kwazise phela ngangivuselelekile enkonzweni. Ngiphume estolo ngiyonameka le sticker ngemuva ebhuthini, qede ngingene emotweni neBhaybheli lami elisha.
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Indaba phela seyenzeka sengifika erobhothini, ngifike libomvu, ngime. Angibonanga noma selishintshile irobhothi, phela ngangisathathekile yinkonzo yangalelo langa. Ngizwe imoto esemva kwami ihutha, ngivele ngewindi ngiphakamise isandla ngibingelela.
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“Jesus Christ! Go, go! Just go!” kusho lo mlungu osemva kwami.
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Ngajabula ukuzwa ukuthi uJesu uhamba phambili kule ndawo. Zonke izimoto ezazisemva kwami zase zihutha lokhu okumangazayo, kwangijabulisa ukubona uthando olungaka lwabantu bekhombisa ukuthanda uJesu. Ngaphakamisa isandla ngikhombisa injabulo, ngathi ngiphosa amehlo erobhothini ngalibona selibomvu futhi.
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Ngezwa enye indoda ithi: “Sunny beach.” Ngabona ukuthi ungowaseThekwini, nakhona bayamthanda uJesu. Omunye umshayeli wangivezela umunwe ophakathi nendawo, ngabuza umzukulu wami uPapi owayehleli ngemuva ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho. Wathi yi-sign yaseMelika esho ukuthi uJesu umthanda ngenhliziyo yakho yonke. Nami-ke angibange ngisapholisa amaseko, ngamvezela owami umunwe lo mlisa.
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Ngabona bonke abantu bephuma ezimotweni zabo beqonde kimi. Ngathi ngithi nhla erobhothini, ngathola umbala uluhlaza. Ngabona kungcono ngihambe, ngaphatheka kabi nokho ukushiya abangani bami ngemuva. Ngicabanga ukuthi babefuna ukuzobuza ukuthi ngikhonza kuphi.
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Ngathi ngiqeda kusuka nje, lashintsha futhi irobhothi laba bomvu, kwangiphatha kabi lokho ukuthi abangani bami ngibashiya ngemuva ngasuka ngedwa. Ngabona kungcono ngibavezele umunwe okokugcina, ukubakhombisa ukuthi uJesu ngimthanda kangakanani. Lapho-ke wavele waphela yinsini uPapi, ngicabanga ukuthi wayechazwa yile ndlela emnandi kangaka ye-sign language yaseMelika.
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Ngethemba ukuthi ngiyophinde ngibabone labaya bantu abanomusa kangaka, sizoxoxa ngezwi leNkosi.
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Yimina,
uTryphina”

Ungene ne-girlfriend emfishane etekisini, uzwe u-driver ethi: “Mgone babakhe, kuzovuleka i-space.”

UMdelwa noMathayi babeyokhempa, kwathi phakathi nobusuku wavuka uMathayi ekhala, “Yho! Yho! Ngilunywe yinyoka kwitotolozi lami!”
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“Ungakhathazeki, ngizofonela udokotela engimaziyo mhlampe angeza neqhinga.” kududuza uMdelwa esho efonela udokotela.
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“Dokotela! Umngani wami ulunywe yinyoka, ngenzenjani?”
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Aphendule udokotela, “Angeke konakale kakhulu uma uzophuthuma, vele uncele igazi lakhe umngani wakho lapho imlume khona.”
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Abonge uMdelwa bese evala ucingo, uMathayi abuze, “Uthini udokotela?”
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Ngaphandle kokuchitha isichathi athi uMdelwa, “Uthi udokotela wena uzofa!”

Ikhansela uDambuza ephendula izikhalazo zomphakathi:
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*Sifuna izindlu zamahhala.
Dambuza: “Nidakiwe, nizalwa yimi yini?”
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*Sifuna ama-toilet.
Dambuza: “Nithe nilambile nganinika ama-food parcel, senisuthi senifuna ukunyela kimi futhi?”
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*Sifuna imisebenzi.
Dambuza: “Angazi-ke nizoyithathaphi ngoba nami ngiqashwe yini.”
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*Le mali yeqolo incane.
Dambuza: “Zalani khona izokwanda.”
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*Sifuna izimayini ziphathwe umphakathi.
Dambuza: “Njengoba nihluleka ukuzimbela ama-toilet, nizozenzani-ke izimayini? Tshelani mina.”
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*Sifuna ukuphatha ama-bank.
Dambuza: “Senikhathele ukuyeba, senifuna ukuyithatha nginibuka?”
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*Sifuna uphume kungene uRazor.
Dambuza: “Unithembiseni uRazor ngoba seba naye lowo?”
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*Sifuna umhlaba ubuyele kubantu.
Dambuza: “Nidakiwe, ungathi amagceke enu enihlula!”
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*Uma ungafuni sowushisa lo muzi wakho.
Dambuza: “Anginamuzi mina, ngiqashile la!”

Ngabe kade ngashada mina, inkinga ngiyasebenza ngama-weekend.

Kwabase 16 Disemba verse 25 to 31: “Endlini kuyosala lona ohlezi ethi, ‘Kukwami lana!’”

Hallelujah.

Thina esihlelekile sesiwuthengile uphalafini wokubasa i-prima stove namakhandlela okukhanyisa mhla kaBlack Friday! 😊

Kodwa abasakugezi ngani?”

Kubuza mina ngihlangana nengane yami estolo ngoDisemba. 😐

“Manje i-coolerbox ne-camp chair kuyaphi kona?”
Bebuza mina endlini bengithume esinkwa kulo Disemba.

On a Friday, kwitekisi eya KwaMashu, kukhale i-phone iphendule intombazane, ”Baby, I’m in a taxi ngiyobona ugogo eMlazi, ngicela ungifakela i-airtime.”

Kukhale enye i-phone iphendule enye intombazane, ”Baby, ngisaya emshadweni kamzala ePMB, ngizobuya Monday.”

Kukhale enye iphendule nenye, ”Baby, kushone umalume I’m in a taxi manje eya eMpangeni, ngicela ungifakela imali yokubuya.”

Wabe esekhalile uMdelwa e-back seat, ”We-driver awungehlise! Kanti iyaphi kahle kahle le taxi?”

Ngemva kokutshumayela omama bebandla koLwesine umfundisi uyabuza:

Pastor:Lacina nini bomama ukutshela omkenu liyabathanda❓
Omama🙍🏽👩🏽: Hawu lamhlanje ekuseni.
Pastor: Liqiniso lelo sure🤔?
Omama: Liqiniso Man of God Pastor🙏🏽
Worayithi omunye lomunye kathumele umkakhe ku WhatsApp 📱ethi “I love you”😍…
Benza njalo bonke. UMfundisi wasesithi tshintshanani amafoni. Ngesikhathi esincane impendulo ezabuya lapho? Zahle zanetha njengezulu. 💦💦🌦☁🌨🌨⛈⛈⛈

1. Kanti e church selinatha ithothotho yini? 😳
2. Ufunani lamuhla? ☹
3. Wrong number 🙅🏽‍♂
4. Usutshayelele imota yami futhi? 😡
5. Lamhla izulu lizakuna sibili 😥
6. Uzangitshela kuhle wena wule ukuthi ubukhuluma lobani la😡😡
7. Njenganini? Kutheni lamhla? 🙄
8. Udakiwe🤔
9. Uyangihlolela 😕
10. Hamba khatshana le 🖕🏽
11. Kulesigqoko osifunayo yini? 👗😒
12. Uyahlanya 😠
13. Uyaphupha yini? 😴
14. Angisahambi lapho ebengisiya khona ngingabhewuka🚶🏽
15. Sokulesihlobo sakho esifikileyo yini?⚰

Lesson: Always love your spouse

uNyaa lo Xolie bayazihambela nje egangenini,
kuthi kusenjalo besahleka kamnandi kuvele
kuqhamuke isilwane.
U Nyaa avule iskhwama akhiphe I ALL STAR
ayiqgoke ayibophe iqine
Xolie: “yewena uyahlanya yini, ucabanga ukuthi singashiya
isilwane?”

Nyaa: “asikho isdingo sokuthi
ngishiye isilwane, mangishiye wena nje ngiqedile.