Kanti vele kwenzeka njani ukuthi umuntu ezivelela eZim esehlala eHillbrow umuzwe esesithi: “efletini lami”, uyabe eselithenge malini or eseliphiwe ngubani?
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Teacher:What does HIV stands for?
Boy:Holiday in Victoria falls.
Teacher:(Angry)u kids are stupid last week lathi umntwana wemvu yimvana now u keep repeating your stupidity, and wena Fatso i asked you nicely ukuthi’what’s a baby lizzard called’and u said Lizzy.Cynthia lawe uyahĺeka.That day i asked you where fish come from and u said egabheni.l give up manje.Tsitsi akungiphendule, ilizwe elilungisa amakombi kuthwa kungaphi?
Tsitsi:tsikombi
Teacher:Simba make a sentence ele word ‘sugar’.
Simba:umama unatha itiye.
Teacher: manje ibala elithi ‘sugar’lingaphi khonapho?
Simba:liphakathi kwetiye
Ukudelela kwamaSmall House
Unamntwana:Ngicela ukukhuluma lomnikazi wefon
Small House:Usagqoka icondom izandla zakhe zigcwele amafutha
uSomatekisi ugibeza uGogo babebabili etaxin kukanti usomatekisi ufuna ukubhema manje unqena ngoba abanye abantu abazwani logwayi bese ebuza umfana “Gogo uyawusaba yini ugwayi? azithulele uGogo aphinde futhi “Gogo uyawusaba yini ugwayi?ambuke uGogo bese ebuza “nibangaki ngakini mzukulu”aphendule umfana sibangu2″athi uGogo “ngunyoko osaba ugwayi mina nginabantwana abangu9”
Nakhu uSipho uyaxoshwa emsebenzini bese ecabanga ukuvula ikhemesi nangempela ayivule aqashe abantu abawu2 ukuthi bamsize bese ebeka imithetho ukuthi “Mawulaphekile ukhokha uR1000 uma ungalaphekanga sikubuyisela uR5000 back” akubeke ngaphandle lokho njebhodi …. kuqhamuke iphoyisa lifunde langaphandle libone ukuthi iningi lemali angene ngaphakathi
PHOYISA: dokotela nginekinga yokungayizwa I taste yokudla engikudlayo
DR: basebenzi ngicela ibhodlela number 22 lapho .. phuza lana
PHOYISA : aphuze ( arghhh ) ungiphuzisa umchamo lona
DR: khokha ndoda sewukwazi ukuzwa I taste manjr uzwile ukuthi ngumchamo lo(likhokhe iphoyisa ..libone ukuthi libhayizile libuye futhi ngakusasa )
PHOYISA: dokotela nginenkinga yokungakhumbuli ebingikudla izolo ngisize (imambane le iyayifuna lemali)
DR: basebenzi lethani lelo bhodlela unumber 22.
PHOYISA: cha cha cha aii leli bhodlela layizolo lomchamo.
DR: khokha ngoba sewukhumbula ukuthi bewudlani izolo(likhokhe iphoyisa libone ukuthi libhayizile futhi phela lemali liyayifuna libuye futhi)
PHOYISA: dokotela nginekinga yokungaboni emehlweni
DR: cha ngeke sikwazi ukukusiza lapho bamba naku uR5000 wakho besho bemnika uR50
PHOYISA: hawu engani ngu R50 njr loo
DR: khokha ngoba usuyabona ukuthi malini lee ……..iphoyisa lavele laqaleka
Nywe nywe miss my boyfriend”
Manje thina senzen? Si react nga masende wakhe?
Husband: i heard our neighbour slept with every lady from our street except one..i wonder who it is?😞
Wife: it must be mamfundhisi from down the road…that lady is so stubborn
Dear Zulu People.
When You Say “Izolo” Are You Talking About Yesterday Or Weed?
You Are Comfusing Us!
After S** feedback from different Ladies.
.
– American lady: Thanks sweetheart, that was awesome
– UK lady: I’m so grateful honey, that was great
– India lady: Oh thank u very much, I love you
– Mzansi lady: So, o reng ka tshelete ya Moriri ????ngeke udle mahhala
Anitshele u Nomvula
Aphinde ashiye u Nathi ngath se too
comfortable sfuna i album
phela thina
Uncenge i Danone yomntwana uze uhambe ngamadolo uthi:
“Dlisa inja Nana”
In my hood there is a house written “sithengisa amagwinya” at at the gate but when U get to the door they have written “hay siyadlala”
Some Ex’s think they own our hearts,
they will text you:
“Hey I know you still love me”
Aibo kahle msunu ukuzihola
Sebenza ube nokwakho uyeke ukusongela abantu uthi, “Kophela Sofana”
😢Uyazi Inyama yese- Woolworths ngandlela idura ngakhona ungafunga ukuthi inkukhu zakhona zino-Metric
Her: Sokuphi bbes?
Me:Ngasesitolo, ngikuphatseleni luv?
Her: Kiss bbe.
(30 minutes later)
Me: I’m near ur home now come out
Her: awukakhohlwa kungtsengela loKiss moc bbe.
Aahh I forgot to faint