When you have a fight with your Nigerian boyfriend but
you’re forced to call him “baby” because
you can’t pronounce “Ukhuchukwa”

Umbona ngokungahlaliseki Ebumnandini Ukuthi Lo Akana Transport

Nakhu uSipho uyaxoshwa emsebenzini bese ecabanga ukuvula ikhemesi nangempela ayivule aqashe abantu abawu2 ukuthi bamsize bese ebeka imithetho ukuthi “Mawulaphekile ukhokha uR1000 uma ungalaphekanga sikubuyisela uR5000 back” akubeke ngaphandle lokho njebhodi …. kuqhamuke iphoyisa lifunde langaphandle libone ukuthi iningi lemali angene ngaphakathi

PHOYISA: dokotela nginekinga yokungayizwa I taste yokudla engikudlayo

DR: basebenzi ngicela ibhodlela number 22 lapho .. phuza lana

PHOYISA : aphuze ( arghhh ) ungiphuzisa umchamo lona

DR: khokha ndoda sewukwazi ukuzwa I taste manjr uzwile ukuthi ngumchamo lo(likhokhe iphoyisa ..libone ukuthi libhayizile libuye futhi ngakusasa )
PHOYISA: dokotela nginenkinga yokungakhumbuli ebingikudla izolo ngisize (imambane le iyayifuna lemali)
DR: basebenzi lethani lelo bhodlela unumber 22.
PHOYISA: cha cha cha aii leli bhodlela layizolo lomchamo.
DR: khokha ngoba sewukhumbula ukuthi bewudlani izolo(likhokhe iphoyisa libone ukuthi libhayizile futhi phela lemali liyayifuna libuye futhi)
PHOYISA: dokotela nginekinga yokungaboni emehlweni
DR: cha ngeke sikwazi ukukusiza lapho bamba naku uR5000 wakho besho bemnika uR50
PHOYISA: hawu engani ngu R50 njr loo
DR: khokha ngoba usuyabona ukuthi malini lee ……..iphoyisa lavele laqaleka

ADVICE FOR MEN:
umfazi ophuza utshwala, shiya.
umfazi onqaba nefoni yakhe, shiya,
umfazi othanda i airtime okudlula wena, shiya,
umfazi ohlala eku buzzer ukuth’ ufone engafoni, shiya,
umfazi okhuluma nawe ku Whatsapp kuphela engafoni, shiya,
umfazi one bestfriend eyisifebe shiya,
umfazi ogqoka ikepesi, utsotsi lowo____ shiya’
umfazi ogqoka ijean skirt, t/shit nama sneaker, shiya,
umfazi okhuluma okudlula wena, shiya,
umfazi ongakuthathi out, shiya,
umfazi o uploader amafotoz le cleavage egqoke isgcebhe, shiya,
umfazi okhuluma islang/kasi-lingo, shiya,
umfazi okhwela esihlahleni for imango, guava, shiya,
umfazi othi uyi first boyfriend yakhe, ngamanga shiya,
umfazi othi goodnight ngo9pm ubone last seen 11pm, shiya,
umfazi okuthwa number busy ngama 11, shiya,
umfazi ojayiva ku roadshow, ngikutshelile wena; shiya,
umfazi ogqoka ivesi, yeyi wena ngithi shiya,
umfazi okwazi ukutshaya ukhwelo or ukuhlabela ingoma ngomlozwi, shiya,
umfazi othengisa ebhawa or tuckshop; shiya,
umfazi ohamba ebhampa; shiya,
umfazi ohlala ekhoneni lestrrat ekasi, shiya,
umfazi ohlangana naye etown ahlale akhale ngendlala; shiya
Umfazi ovula iCoca cola ngamazinyo… Dangerous shiya.
Umfazi ogqoka ipettcoat egqoke le jean skirt shiya….
Ngiyabonga mina, dankie.
Add lawe, and SHARE with yo frends….

Umuntu acomplaine ngesex kube ngani kukhona iclass lalento kanti nathi siyazizamela nje akukho la esiyifunda khona lento.

Husband asks wife:
Who took the money I left on the dressing
table?:
.
Whites: I didn’t take it
.
Blacks: Ubani? Mina? Imali? Ngaphi? Nini?
Dressing table? Uyahlanya.!!

Ukuzalela Mfana Ingane Embi kuyawuqeda
Nje Umdlandla Wokondla!!

That awkward moment when you ask your bae that
“baby sibangaki kuwe?”
And they say “Niyi-wedwa”

Men don’t tell when they are hurt,
they just dedicate a song like
“ibuhlung intliziyo yam by Zahara thou”…

Mina ngo 67min kaMandela day nakhu engizimisele ngukukwenza:

1.Ngizolungisa indlu yegagu, kunini yanetha bakwethu?

2.Ngizosiza Izimbila njengoba zizobe zithutha I’m sure zizobe zisindwa.

3.Ngzohamba ngiyolanda lendoda eyashaya uNomathemba ngifuna ichaze yayishayelani ingane.

4.Ngizobheka leliPhela elaluma uNano eyoboleka uphondo.

5.Ngizothenga leskhathi esadliwa yinja.

6.Ngizonikeza ijuba imali yokugibela mase beyolichutha phambili,lingafiki selikhathele.

7.Ngizothengela ikati umbhede,kunini lalala eziko sekuyazwela manje.

8.Ngizobe ngipholisa amaseko.

9.Ngizonicelela ukubona uDriver wakaKhumbul’ekhaya.

10.Ngizohamba ngiyobheka lomuzi onotshwala okuhlezi kuthiwa uzokhonjwa.

11.Ngizosula utshwala obugayiwe njengoba kuthiwa buchitheka bugayiwe.

12.Ngizofuna umuntu esohlangana naye eskhaleni kwaNtombela.

13.Ngizomanzisa imbhenge ukuze abazoyikhatha bangagqilazeki ngokuyikhotha yomile.

14.Ngzohamba ngiyobheka amagwababa lapho achobanela khona.

15.Ngizohamba ngiyosiza amagwababa echobana I’m sure khona eselikhathele.

Yikho engizokwenza ngosuku lokuzalwa kukaTata Mandela.

Only blacks will talk to
a cockroach before
killing it, they be like
“ne ore oya kae?”