A person is a person but when he enters;
● In hospital he is called a patient
● In a taxi he is called a passenger
● At school he is a student.
● In stadium he is a fan
Question, what is that person called when he enters a toilet??

Old Doctor and A Young Doctor.
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating & see if that does the trick?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine tht woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her, “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?” “I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope &, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed.”

A very successful Nigerian man parked his new lexus in front of his office ready to show it off to his collegues, as he got out a trailer passed too close and completety tore off the door, the man immediately grabbed his cell phone, called the police, and they arrived. before the officer could say anything the man was scereaming hysteriacally, my lexus!, my lexus!, will never be the same again no matter what the panel -beater did to it, the officer just looked at the man in disgust and shook his head, i cant beleieve how materialistic you are, he said, you are soo focused on your possessions that you dont notice anything else. how can you say such a thing? asked the man. dont you know that your left arm is missing from your elbow down, it must have been torn off when the truck hit you……….., oh my God replied the man, “MY ROLEX” wrist watch.

The reason im using free mode is not data
problem but i don’t wanna see pics of
some people, i can’t afford having night
mares

Two old couples got together to reminiscent about the old times and laugh about life. One of the gentlemen, Harold, started raving about this great restaurant he and his wife visited not too long ago. “Really?” The other old man asked. “What was the name of this place?” Harold thought for a second before asking, “what do you call those flowers that smell really good?”

“Which ones?” The other guy asked. “Daisy?”

“No, that’s not it.” “Tulip?”

“No, that doesn’t sound right either.” “Rose?”

“Yes!” Harold snapped his fingers. “That’s it!” Harold turns to his wife and asked, “Hey, Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?”

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.”
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is🍑. It’s a beaver, but I think grandma’s is dead because it’s tongue is hanging out

Have you realised that most people
that fall pregnant are FEMALES?

You’ll Never Hear Beautiful Girls Say Ur Not My Type …
😒
“Only Di froggie 🐸will Say That “

Ladies, imagine dating a guy that expects you to date him alone,
some guys are selfish

Boy takes girl into bedroom, pulls his pants
down and says ” meet my little brother”,
girl pick up her bag, on her way out she
said,” call me when he’s grown up”…

A man bought a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.
He decided to test it at dinner: …

Dad: Son, where were you today during school hours?

Son: At school
(robot slaps the son and he immediately changes his mind)

Okay, okay, I went to the movies! Dad: Which one?

Son: Harry Potter (robot slaps the son again!)

Okay Alright, I was watching dirty movies.

Dad: What? When I was your age I didn’t even know
what dirty moves are (robot slaps dad)

Mom: Hahahahaha! After all he is your Son!
(robot gives Mom a hot dirty slap)

Skebhe’s wife : honey! you boss is here, You better hide

Skebhe : no baby! you hide . I called and told him the reason I didn’t come to work , you are dead

There is a truck driver who whenever he sees a Politician walking down the street, he always swerves to hit him. One day he sees a priest on the side of the road looking for a ride and so the truck driver picks him up. While they were driving, the driver sees a Politician , and swerves to hit him. But then he remembered he had a priest in the truck, so he swerved back on the road, but he heard a loud “thump” anyway. So the driver turns to the priest and says “Please forgive me,” and the priest said, “You didn’t hit the Politician , but that’s OK, I got him with the door.”

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers
which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and
goodbye Grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye
Grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it
just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father
thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to
bed and listened to her prayers which went
like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless
Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day
the grandmother died.
“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in
contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going
to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless
Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically
went into shock.
He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the
crack of dawn to go to his office. He was
nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and
watched the clock. He figured if he could get
by until midnight he would be okay. He felt
safe in the office, so instead of going home
at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and
jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh
of relief and went home. When he got home
his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so
late, what’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve
just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day?
You’ll never believe what happened to me.
This morning the mailman dropped dead on
our porch!”

Did u just fall?”
no I attacked the floor