Q.What wud u do?
,,,U r a man nd hv rented
a 3room house with ur wife.Ur lady friend
needs a place to stay & u decide to offer
her a room in ur house.Aftr a couple of
months u fall 4 her nd u start shagging
her!One day u lie to ur wife that u r going
out myb to a funeral so that u sleep at the
other room with ur lady friend!In the middle
of the nyt ur wife knoks and says ”chomi
can u pls give me a condom”,,,,?

A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
“Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat”

Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
“You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,”
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.

The next day in class he posed the following question:
“Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?”

Without hesitating, Mandela responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
“I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”

Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela’s exam sheet the word “IDIOT”
& gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,

“Mr. Peters, you signed your name on the sheet, but you forgot to give me my grade.”

😂😄😆😩

Don’t mess with intelligent people….pass it on to your intellectual friends….

My girlfriend said I must delete my Facebook account or
she’s leaving me
So I’ll be back guys; let me help her pack her bags

A famous inspirational speaker
said; Best years of my life were
spent in the arms of a woman,
who wasn’t my wife.The
Audience was in shock and
silence.He then added: “She was my
mother.”(A big round
of applause and laughter
roared).A very daring husband
tried to crack this at home.
After dinner, he said loudly to
his wife in the kitchen; Best years of my life
were spent in
the arms of a woman, who
wasn’t my wife. Standing for a
moment, trying to recall the
second line of that speaker, by the time he gained his
senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns
of hot water!
Moral Lesson: Don’t Copy, if you can’t Paste.

A moment of silence for people who were born on 29th February in this group….coz this year has nothing like 29th Feb….So how will you wish them ??
HAPPY DELETED BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE or what??

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he kicked open a bottle, and, guess what? Our dear, friendly neighbourhood genie pops out! So, as you know, he had to give her a wish;
“I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.”

The genie granted the man’s wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love — which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Genie, I don’t know what I was thinking.

I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The genie replied, “My dear, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You’ll have to wait 9 months, though.

You got pregnant last night!”

CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAD MAN AND A NORMAL MAN*

*Normal Man:* Why is that you people (mad people) always laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about?

*Mad man:* Its because you people don’t see what we see.

*Normal Man:* What do you people see?

*Mad man:* Have u ever seen an ant breastfeeding it babies? Or dogs having a marriage ceremony?

*Normal Man:* (Burst out with laughter..) Hahahaha!!! (and accidentally puffed)

*Mad man:* See how you are laughing and puffing now without even seeing anything.. what more will you do if you see those things? Obvious!! You will need pampers!

Men with beards 50 years ago: “I’m going to the woods to chop down some trees.”

Men with beards today: “I’m going to the shops. There’s a new face mask that’s gluten-free.”

I knw, Many of you can fail this
…!!!
.. …
Children Loves Cartoons.
We, Men Loves Football.
Women loves___________?

So your GF will be online Chatting to other ppl nd not even reading your text for HOURS
that’s worse than a blue tick.

Do girls really look at other Girls butts🍑
and be like
“Damn i wish that was mine “

when wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body parts.
Men are so polite,they only look at the covered parts

When politics rules the cue:
.
The story that Orlando Pirates beat Kaizer Chiefs 3-1 is not true and is pure propaganda by white owned media. It is intended to make people believe that teams coached by whites perfom better. We are tired of this monopoly capital and propaganda machinery that shows signs of white supremacy. We aren’t going to be dragged by white power to believe all the fallacies. The game never happened, just like we have been brainwashed and to believe that white is mightier. As blacks we are not going to be dragged into that white belief and white rule. The divide and rule by whites. The game never happened, we urge the black people to unite and stop insulting and teasing each other by promoting white stans.

Jack goes to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The desk sergeant says “You’ll get your chance in court”.Man says “No, No, No, I just want to know how he got into the house without waking up my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years !”