Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn’t a Fireman called a Water-man?

– How come Lipstick doesn’t do what it says?

– If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

– Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

– Why is it called ‘Rush Hour’ when traffic moves at its slowest then?

– How come Noses run and Feet smell?

– Why do they call it a TV ‘set’ when there is only one?

– What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

I can never find the answers, can you?

Heartbreak really hurts, my sister has
been in the kitchen washing one plate for
2hours now..
This is why I gave my heart to Christ

If your boyfriend spends the whole day without a saying a word to you, just know that the other relationship is going well.

My girlfriend just sent me a text message saying “hey babe if someone calls you and ask if I’m dating you please say NO we not dating”
Which stage of relationship is this guys

Relationships last longer when there is forgiveness , honest , love , mpama , flying kick , ambulance and a police van frequenting the house .

Hey guys,
Please be informed that somebody is trying to spread a dangerous rumour that I have stopped DRINKING alcohol.
I therefore categorically state here that at no point did I ever attempt to stop. In fact, I have never contemplated or dreamt about it.
These are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation by preventing my family and friends like you from offering me drinks during this festive period.
I beg of you all to stay calm and vigilant while I investigate this BLACKMAIL.
I will keep you all updated

I will be naming my daughter pregnant so when a guy meets her.
Guy: Hi, am Stanley
Her: Hi, am pregnant. 😂 case closed🙌🤣😋

Jack goes to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The desk sergeant says “You’ll get your chance in court”.Man says “No, No, No, I just want to know how he got into the house without waking up my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years !”