I want to date someone who will respect my Girlfriend..!
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I want to date someone who will respect my Girlfriend..!
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When drunk people talk, 75% of what they say is true…
Please listen carefully this weekend
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I was dreaming urinating in th the toilet,
as I woke up I found my blankets wet ,
I don’t know who the hell poured water on my bed!!! M so pissed
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We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.
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Any woman cheating on her man this year may u catch fire, break your leg, loose your front teeth…
Any man cheating on his woman…Father forgive us and teach us how to love for we don’t know what we are doing.
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What did the buffalo say to his son at dropoff?
Bison
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There were 3 boys : someone, nobody and madman
One day somebody killed nobody and madman called
The police and said I am madman speaking ,somebody killed no body so come here.
HA HA HA!
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I’m gonna MAKE the rest of my life the BEST of my LIFE.
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How to calm a forward chick down:
.
Me: How are you
Her : I’m fine
Me : So what’s your favorite colour?
Her: Ohh please stop asking stupid question, ask me something logical and matured
Me : How many moles of Sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralise 0.8 ml of Sulphuric Acid at STP….
Her: my favourite colour is Pink
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Women DM first all the time,
you just haven’t experienced it because you’re ugly
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I tried to donate blood today. Never again, too
many stupid questions asked.
Who’s is it? Where did You get it?
Why is it in a bucket?😾
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math
problems when his teacher picked him to
answer a
question, “Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting on a
fence and you shot one with your gun, how
many
would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny,
“cause the rest would fly
away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the
teacher, “but I like
the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny says,
“I have a question for you. If there
were three women eating ice cream cones
in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was
biting her
cone and the third was sucking her cone,
which one
is married?” “Well,” said the teacher
nervously, “I guess the one
sucking the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny,
“the one with the wedding
ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.
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A real wife sleep on the floor when
her husband bring His side chick home
.
You must respect your man
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if You Want To See Your Boyfriend’s True Colors ,
Just Say That “You Are Pregnant”
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There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late!”
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort
of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive. — Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. — Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. — Helen Rowland
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SCHOOL RULES WHEN I AM A PRINCIPAL!!!
.
.1..female students should wear mini-skirts only
.
.2..lunch time takes 3hrs while each lesson takes
only 20 mins..
.
.3..If u wanna get high there’s a room for
smokers
.
.4..Wednesdays nd fridays its party time no
lessons..
.
.5..if u ar a quiet person “sorry!get the out
of my school..
.
.6..During examinations all students will be
provided with text books
.
.7..All students are free to bring their laptops nd
phones bcoz free Wi-Fi will be provided.
.
.8..If u insult a teacher ur punishment is to play
FIFA with the principal..
.
.9..At lunchtime students eat every kind of foods u want the school will provide…
.
. WILL YOU JOIN MY SCHOOL??
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