The Day I’ll Post A Pic Of Me And My Bae On “best Couple Around sa” , i Will Read All The Comments And I’ll Make Sure That i Roast Back Anyone Who Tries To Make Fun Of Me And My BOO

Man was updating his FB status when he received a kol 4m da police: “Sir, yo wife has died in a car crash, we need u to come and identify the body”. Man: “Im very busy ryt now, can you take a picture of her, tag me. If its her i will press LIKE”

12 Rules of Street Football⚽

When We Were Kids…
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper⚽🤣
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties were🤣 awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired😂.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.😂
6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.🤣
7. If you don’t participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.😂
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser.
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person’s compound to play in the next game😁.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!😅
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.⚽
12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.True or false?🤣

LADY’S TELL ME!!!
.
Break up – U Crying
Menstruation – U Crying
Child birth – U Crying
Engagement- U Crying
Wedding – U Crying
Sex – U Crying
Drunk – U Crying
.
What’s So Special About You??

During Lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). When I got home, My husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Daring I have a surprise for dinner tonight”He blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.i took a sit and just as he was about to remove my blindfold , the telephone rang .

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were effecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go .

It was not only loud , but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump !! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously, then , shifting to the other leg I ripped off three more

The stink was worse then Cooked cabbage, keeping my ears careful tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes

The pleasure was indescribable eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I can quickly fanned the air a few more times with napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it Feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My Face must have been the picture of innocent. When my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked me if had peaked through the blindfold and I assured him I had not

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table with their noses, chorused, ” Happy Birthday”.

Every girl did this: “chomi, call him
and tell
him that I’m crying”

I was in my Room last night when i heared
my Neighbor screaming for help,help the snake sniched into my house!!!,then i ran with a strong Wood in my
hand to kill the Snake,when i got there
behold a Big Snake was in her sitting
room,me and my 12 Neighbor’s came
to kill the big Snake.
.
When we saw the big Snake we all were
busy shouting today is your End you witch
Snake
.
I first of all raised my own wood to hit the
Snake when the Snake turned and faced us
with Red eye on us.
.
I then said IF I COUNT to 3 LET US HIT THE
SNAKE AT ONCE
which we all agreed i counted 1,2,3 go then
Eskom took the LIGHT away and filled us with darkness.
.
We all started screaming in the Dark because
the Door was closed no way to run outside
and the snake was still inside the sitting
Room
.
We Nearly Killed Our Selves
WHEN SOMEONE TOUCHES YOU, YOU’ll HIT HIM
thinking it was the Snake
.
AS AM TALKING TO YOU NOW AM STILL IN THE
HOSPITAL, because we all Injured our selves
with the Wood instead of the Snake

DID U KNOW?
Thailand has the highest number of
prostitutes!
Bt vele what else cn u expect when the
country’s name is THIGH LAND,
when the capital is BANG COCK and
a tourist spot is called FUK ET?

Don’t Be Ashamed Of Your Hustle,
Nobody Will feed you, If You Go Broke

Parents Please take your children to Sunday School😒

A teacher came to class and asked a question😕

Teacher: “who killed Goliath”😐
Bill: “Its not me”😐
Steve: “I don’t know”😯
Rich: “I wasn’t at school that day”😩

The teacher went to the Headmaster’s office and told the Headmaster that students in his class don’t know who killed Goliath😟

The HM came to that class and asked…

HM: “who killed Goliath”😕
Class: “We are not the ones”😐
HM: “If u don’t tell me who killed Goliath…you’ll see fire today”😡
Class: “we don’t know”😨

The Headmaster turned to the teacher and asked: “Are you sure Goliath was killed by someone from this class??”😞

[The teacher fainted]

The Ability To Control Tears When Food Doesn’t Reach You At A Function/Occasion Is The Highest Level Of Maturity