I thought I have seen everything in life until I saw a 16yrs old boy went to a bar and
drank 4 bottles of Guinness. He got up to leave and the barman asked him to pay.
He brought out his birth certificate and
replied; Not for sale to persons below 18yrs

The best TIME on EARTH is the TIME that you SPEND with someone’s WIFE.

Of course your mother, who is your father’s WIFE.

What were you thinking, may GOD deliver you.

A married man left work early one Friday,
but instead of going home,
he spent the weekend partying with the
boys. When he finally returned home
on Sunday night, his wife really got on his
… case and stayed on it.
After a few of hours of swearing and
screaming, his wife paused and
pointed at him and made him an offer.
“How would you like it if you
didn’t see me for a couple of days?”…..
The husband couldn’t believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and
said, “That would suit me just fine!!”
Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn’t see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little
out of the corner of his left eye.

Wives are two types

The first type listens to her husband, understands his thoughts, always behaves lovingly, and even if the husband is angry, keeps smiling😃

The second type

Is the one that everyone has

My mother used to communicate with eyes while I was growing up…
When visitors are in the house and I am jumping up and down, there is an eye sign which means ​”get out”​

When visitors are eating and you want to eat with them, there is this particular look which means ​”if you collect anything here I will skin you alive”​ but meanwhile she will be telling the visitors “don’t mind her, she won’t eat or she has eaten..”

When you pay a visit to any family member and you want to cry over what is not yours, there is this look which means ​”if I hear pim from you again, I will flog you dead”​.

But today’s mother… I mean our young mummies today ehhh…
Their eyes are already weakened with mascara, eye lashes and heavy-duty facelifts and make-ups from Mary Kay to Jenifer Lopez to Angelina Jolie. In short, the eyes can’t communicate again… when they are looking at a child, the child will be looking back at them because that child is seeing them as either a magician or masquerade or even doll baby, which they are used to.

Share with folks on your contacts list. Don’t laugh alone.

Teacher: “Who is the President of
South Africa?”
Children: “Dingiswayo.”
Teacher: “Correct, and the Minister
of. Defence?”
Children: “Benny McCathy.”
Teacher: “Correct. What is the
capital city of South Africa?”
Children: “Mangaung.”
Teacher: “Very good, and who
composed the National Anthem?”
Children: “Ladysmith Mambazo.”
Teacher: “Excellent. What do you
call people from Mosco?”
Children: “Mosquitoes.”
Teacher: “Perfect. How much is 2 +
5?”
Children: “25.”
Teacher: “That’s great, you’re going to be stupid like this until your government
increases my salary!