Did u just fall?”
no I attacked the floor

A mad person stole a mobile phone from a shop. He was caught but the owner of the shop decided to let him keep it, after all a mad person wouldn’t know how to operate the complicated handset. But something funny happened as the mad man pressed the phone, it didn’t respond, so he continued pressing and pressing and pressing… *Read more*..

No valentine’s gifts if the relationship is less than 10 months old.

A pastor announced, “If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left”. All the men in the church moved to left except one man . The pastor was amused and asked,”How come ur wife can’t control you?”The man quietly replied, “it’s my wife who told me not to move”

Today i was a hero😉
⤵
I rescued a beer that was trapped in a bottle

A woman was at a job interview. The interviewer noticed a four year gap in her resume and asked what she was doing at that time. The woman replies,
“Oh, I was in Yail.”
The interviewer is impressed and tells her she’s hired.
The woman says, “So I got the yob??”
“Yob?” The interviewer asks.
“Yeah, yob.
So…

If you’re bored like I am, here’s what to do: Place a cube of sugar where ants are prevalent in your house. Observe as one ant will spot it, the little snitch will then go and report to others. After it has left, remove it, so that when the other ants come they will think the other ant is a liar 😠and will never trust him again. *Ruin his life..

Last Night i Opened all the Doors and Windows to Let Mosquitoes in,
i Then closed The Doors and Windows
Then i Slept Outside..
All the Mosquitoes were Confused

Football Rules of our childhood
1-the fat is always the keeper
2-the game ends only if all players are tired (EXCEPT RULE 6)
3-no matter the score, the team that scores the last goal wins the game
4-there is no referee
5-only if it is serious
6-if the owner of the ball gets angry the game is over
7-the 2 best players can’t play on the same team, so everyone chooses their players
8-if you are chosen the last one is a humiliation
9-if there is penalty the keeper is replaced by the best player of his team and says “not for good” to mean that after the penalty, the keeper returns to his post
10-when the ball comes out of the playground to a remote destination, it’s the hitter who’s going to get the ball
11-the best player on the ground is always on the same team as the owner of the ball
12-to start a game we always said “PREE” with our mouths, the game begins”
13-to distinguish teams, a team should play shirtless
14- you kick the ball in the air to start a match
15- Its all massive attack, massive defence
16- Remember the owner of the Ball is FIFA
17- No offside
18-if your Mom calls u , someone can be playing for you and when you return you continue
If you’ve been through this like me, you can also add yours