Two policemen call the station on the radio.
“Hello. Is that the Sarge?”….”Yes?”
“A woman has shot her husband for
stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.”
“Have you arrested the woman?”
“No Sarge. The floor is still wet.”
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If you can’t convince them,
confuse them.
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If you wanna know the truth about yourself😉
Offend your neighbour..
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Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we seem to lack but one thing.
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Aman was summoned to his attorney’s office.
“Doyou want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.
Man-“Giveme the bad news first.”
Lawyer-“Your wife found a picture worth a million dollars.”
Man-“That’sthe bad news?” laughed the man. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”
Lawyer-The terrible news is…
“Thepicture is of you and your secretary!”
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9 REASONS WHY I DONT WATCH NIGERIAN MOVIES..
1. A flash back plays 40 mins.
2. Millionaires have gate men instead of electric gates.
3. Females wake up with earings and make-up in the morning.
4. When petience ozokor wants to poison someone she first tastes the poison but never dies.
5. They cut grass with a panga instead of a slasher.
6. 20years later in the movie but the family dog is still alive.
7. A ghost looks both sides before crosing the road.
8. People always ask for a menu at restaurants but end up ordering rice and chicken.
9. No matter how low your Tv volume is ,the movie will always make a huge soundooo…..!!
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Just because I Post Something Doesn’t Mean
It’s Relevant To My Current Situation,
My Posts Are A Reflection Of My Thoughts
Not My Life
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Life is an art of drawing without an eraser
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Says Be who you are, and say what you feel,
because those that matter won’t mind,
and those that mind, won’t matter.
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Dating a girl who was in love with another guy is like taking a gun
loaded with unlimited bullets shorting yourself!
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If my sister know how famous I am on Facebook
She wouldn’t send me to buy cabbage at the market
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A wife to her husband: “Honey, what are you doing?”
“Im reading our marriage certificate.”
“What for?”
“Im looking for the expiry date…
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W A R N I N G * Please share this important warning with all your friends if you truly care.
Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. Last Sunday evening, a friend of mine, while drinking and
driving, put his arm out of the window to indicate that he was turning right and someone grabbed his beer and ran away!
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Bae: Really?,U Just slept With My Friend?
Me: No Babe… We Did It While STANDING.
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A simple formula for happy life.
Never try to defeat anyone,
Just try to win everyone,
Don’t laugh at anyone
but laugh with everyone.
Good Morning
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THE SUPERIORITY OF DESCENT DRESSING
A girl bought an iPad. When her father saw it, He asked her “What was the 1st thing you did when you bought it?
“I put an anti-scratch sticker on the screen and bought a cover for the iPad” she replied.
“Did someone force you to do so?”
– “No”
“Don’t you think it’s an insult to the manufacturer?”
– “No dad! In fact they even recommend using a cover for the iPad”
“Did you cover it because it was cheap & ugly?”
– “Actually, I covered it because I didn’t want it to get damaged and decrease in value.”
“When you put the cover on, didn’t it reduce the iPad’s beauty?”
– “I think it looks better and it is worth it for the protection it gives my iPad.”
The father looked lovingly at his daughter and said,
“Yet if I had asked you to cover your body which is much more precious than the iPad, would you have readily agreed???”
She was mute…..
~ Indecent dressing and exposure of your body reduces your value and respect.
Always dress decently.
Pls protect our young girls by sharing these with our fellow sisters….
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