XHOSA Ladies Lack Patience 😒 ,
You’ll Date Her For 10Years And She’ll Suddenly
Start Bringing Up Stories About Marriage 😡 ..
Why Do Y’all Rush ? 😏
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XHOSA Ladies Lack Patience 😒 ,
You’ll Date Her For 10Years And She’ll Suddenly
Start Bringing Up Stories About Marriage 😡 ..
Why Do Y’all Rush ? 😏
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When I’m sad…
you’re the first person I wanna talk to.
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Meet Up=R250
Meet Up+Hug=R350
Meet Up+Kiss=R500
Don’t Have Time To Waste!
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That moment you’re going with bae to the ATM
and you’re silently praying,
“O Lord let this machine swallow my card”
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Text a girl a long paragraph telling her how much you love her, I bet she’ll read it 24/7.
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What are the perks of living alone?
Its always ur turn to do the dishes.
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DON’T VISIT VERY RICH RELATIVES OR FRIENDS
I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked.*
MAID: What would u like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?
ME: Ceylon Tea pls.
MAID: How do U want it, black or white?
ME: White….
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would U like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Aiyo! forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: Flavored or non flavored?
ME: Infact, get me an empty glass!
MAID: Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?
ME: Free me, I will swallow my spit…”
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Medical Fact:
“Did you know that if you bath at least twice daily, avoid alcohol, avoid smoking tobacco and go to gym regularly for fitness, have sufficient sleep, eat fruits after each meal, avoid stress, stop using all sorts of drugs including caffeine found in tea and coffee and practice safe sex regularly, you’ll still die?
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How much money do you think
can solve your current problems?
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Stop posting your problems on facebook and
start drinking alcohol just like the rest of us🙌
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On Sunday mornings, as the dawn burned into day,
swarms of gulls descended on the uncollected trash,
hovering and dropping in the cold clear light.
Good morning
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Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right, Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it.
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Every time she goes out at night to drink🍻 with her friends💃👭, she comes back early around 3am🌃 in the morning, she knocks🚪 in the window because she lost her key and when I open the curtains⏳ to see who it is ,It’s her, she makes funny ugly😉 faces, when I open the door she walks🚶♀️ In like a model 💃(Cat walking) convincing me she’s not drunk🥂 but she keeps falling😑, she sends me to go out and look for her other shoe👠 “stuck in a mud ” she says. I come back she locked me out👏, she continue to make funny😬 faces through the window. She forgets we hid the spare key outside under the rock😛, 🙈👅I open the door she runs🏃♀️💃 and hide herself from me, she puts a bucket on her head and cover her eyes with her hands, I Ignore her and go sleep🛌. She so drunk she starts singing random songs,🌴 starts jumping on the bed🛏 like a kid, pulls me by ears 👂 and rides my back like a horse ,while I’m trying to sleep ,runs to the toilet to vomit🚽 ,I have to wakeup And Check on her ,Hold Her Hair As She Vomits😛 , make sure she’s okay😑 , She Goes To The Kitchen ,breaks Glasses🍷 I get There Shes Eating eating everything in the fridge🍎🍓🍉🍨🍢🍲🍞🍜🍤🍛🍗 shes wearing the clothes 👕👔👖She Ironed For me for work ,Takes Out her phone takes selfies🤳 I have to pick up the glasses and sweep the floor ,prepare my clothes👖👕👔 for work and hers👗 too if shes going ,when I’m done ,Im noticing shes been quiet for a while now ,I go and check her out ,I get there shes sleeping🛌 I have to pick her up and put her in bed ,I go out to switch off lights 💡 I come back She has wetened💦 the bed, now I have put her on the Couch put a blanket wrap her feet and tuck it to her and i’ll take the floor I close my eyes to sleep I hear the boom sound ,its her she fell😑 off the couch , Now We both sleeping on the floor ,she’s farting so bad I cant sleep ,I yawn as I close my eyes 📢”Trrrr trrr⏰” the alarm goes off its 6:30am I better get ready for work 😔 And You know What I Don’t Mind Cause I Love My Babe, She is my only Queen
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Don’t try to be an genius coz a genius died trying to be a genius
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Forgive me for am about to steal someone boyfriend
because when they took mine you didn’t say anything
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if You Can’t Thank GOD For Anything ,
Atleast Thank GOD That Mosquitoes Can’t Transmit H.I.V
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