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Nothing Is More πŸ‘ΆπŸΏChildish Than
Being Angry At Me For Forgetting
Your Birthday

Did I Give Birth To
You ? πŸ˜‚



Any woman cheating on her man this year may u catch fire, break your leg, loose your front teeth…

Any man cheating on his woman…Father forgive us and teach us how to love for we don’t know what we are doing.

One day in a class room ( teacher and pupils)
teacher: good morning children?
pupils: good morning Sir.
teacher: today’s topic is English,
who can tell me what people in abroad are called?
Pupils: township .
teacher:wonderful,
then people in home what are they called?
Pupils: townGoat ..

Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit…
Wisdom is knowing that you can not make fruit salad with a tomato


She walked into the banking hall, with her pointed shoes announcing her arrival minutes before you saw her.

She wore that kind of dress that convinces you that heaven is missing an angel.

The aroma of her perfume would easily finish a bowl of eba for its sweetness.

And the phone which she gingerly held to her ear, without minding the security guy that was waving frantically at her that calls are not allowed in banking halls, will cost a small fortune.

She stepped forward, picked a deposit slip and searched frantically for a pen.

About five guys offered her their pens but she took mine, maybe because I was closer to her.

After a while, or a long while because time stood still, she stood up and inched closer to me.

I was sweating like a pregnant fish and huffing and puffing like a Monitor lizard.

She whispered, “Please can you spell ‘thirty’ for me?”

I looked down at her deposit slip in surprise.

She had written, ‘Tarty Tausan’!

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
BEAUTY IS NOT EVERYTHING.

Dating a virgin is funny
You touch her nose then…
she be like “bae im afraid i will get pregnant”


I think Facebook should send notifications like:
“Dineo and 12 others just ignored your post, would u like to unfriend them?”


*My phone is very spiritual guys*

Last Sunday l went to church ,I walked almost half way then my phone starts showing “NO SERVICE” I returned home very happy I knew *there was no church that day

Thanks to my phone .

Are U 18 yrs & above?
Do u have a valid ID passport?
Can U speak English & any other language?
Are U lookin for a 9am – 5
pm Job with a Monthly Salary of N350,000 and a weekly allowance of N20,000?
No work during wkends & u only have to work half-day on Fridays?
If U’re interested in this Job, Pls contact me with Ur
full details … SO DAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT 2GEDA…COS
Am also looking for that type JOB:πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Your broke boyfriend doesn’t even take you out or buy u airtime … all he knows is saying
“wen will you come to see me ”

as if he is admitted in hospital* My sister pliz cheat on him God will understand your situation


My kids passed away all of them.
They are going to another Grades.
I am going to Braai them all.*
β€’
My Zulu Neighbour congratulating his Children.


A morning.
Mom: you can wake me up with your father and early in the morning.
Domeng is easy to climb.
DOMENG:tay, is now awake, mom says you’re still early in it.
Dad: tell your mom. I don’t want to enter! Is dropped.
Domeng: Mom, she doesn’t want to go to father.
Mom: (angry) tell you your damuho dad. Get up and he will be in.
Patakbong climbed is.
Domeng: Tay. Mom is angry. Please come in.
Dad: I will not enter! Don’t be naughty and you might taste! Domeng dropped again.
Domeng: don’t really like mom.
Mom: make it a way. Enter your father when that is not in classes,
You don’t have dota!
Domeng: Mom, nothing ganyanan. Dad doesn’t really like it.
Mom: ah take care of you. I am still hoping for 10 hours.
Domeng: WTF!? Just like lightning to climb the room climb.
Maya more, with a strong thump and crying to go down is hsbang
Holding the flushed cheeks.
Mom: oh?! Napano ka?
Domeng: Father hit me. (dropped dad, angry angry. )
Father: where is that fucking child.
Mom: Hey! You Batugan! Why did you hurt is? Father: how does it hurt!
I’m dinuraan in the head. Twice more.
Mom: is it true domeng? You Dinuraan your father?
Domeng: (crying) yes, I heard because you last night, you said dad.
” you’re duraan because of the head, don’t want to come in.” then you said.
” Duraan again when I really don’t. So I dinuraan with the head dad should be three
Times. A while ago, I don’t want to enter.. huhuhu. Mom is my dota?
Mom: this child is still a snack there

Mom: why are u late? How many times do i have to tell u to go home before 7 pm?
β˜†
Daughter: Not now mom, im tired! Projects, Assignments, stress, exams, e.t.c
β˜†
<The mother fainted right there because her daughter was in preschool


The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:

– The tender one
– the amazing one
– Lady of my dreams

The wife got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother
, and then called the second number his sister replied back . She dialed the third her own phone rang !!!!

She cried until she got her eyes swollen because she doubted her husband, so she gave him her monthly salary to make up for her sin.
Once his mother knew of the story, she sold her jewelery and gave him the money

The husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as “Abu Khalid The Electrician” …

Men Men Men!!!!!!

Some boys will be like”I don’t date fat ladies”
but they have fat mothers.
My brother don’t rush,
be humble like your dad.

Me:mom our kettle is not working we
should throw it at the dump site
Mom:why?
Me:because its useless
Mom:wena did we throw U away when U
were born?