Why are bachelors slimmer than married men?
Bachelors return from work and see the same boring stuff in the’ fridge’and go to ‘bed’…..
Whereas married men return from work and see the same boring stuff in ‘bed’ and go to the ‘fridge’.
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So you go to your girlfriends place
without notice and find another guy ,
Then you get hurt,
But my brother the bible says
only Jesus will come like a thief without notice,
you are not Jesus, stop being emotional.
After church on Sunday, Skebhe’s wife saw her husband sitting quietly at the sitting room. She got concerned and decided to ask him, “Darling, why are you sitting so quiet?
What is it that is bothering you?”
Skebhe replied, “I’m still thinking about what the pastor said.
It’s making me uncomfortable.”
His wife asked, ”What is it?”
He replied, ”The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but only one woman didn’t want to sleep with him.”
The wife replied, “It must be that Mrs LUKHELE. She thinks she is better than everyone!”
A South African teacher was sent to
China to
teach….
The first day he entered the class
and was Register roll
calling,
He called out name, “Sheng”, a
student stood up
and answered “present sir”.
He called the second name ” chung young”
, another
student answered “present sir”.
Suddenly he sneezed “hatchia”.
One student
seated
at the corner stoop up and said,
“present sir”.
He surprisingly exclaimed,
mmmhh”. All the
students shouted “absent sir”.
At this moment, he got confused
and said,
“hhaai bo!!”. Three students
immediately stood up and
said,
“which of us sir”.
The teacher became even more
confused and
asked, “what is wrong”??
A student stood up and
answered,” sir, I am not
wrong. I am called Wong ” Now
the teacher
could not help it but laughed
out”
hahaha…… A girl stood up and
answered,
“present
sir”
The tea
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunk, with a ragged, dirty looking (Skebhe) came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him. Skebhe was given a glass with a drink.
He tried it and said, “It’s red wine, a Muscat, three years old, grown on a western of the Cape slope, matured in steel containers.”
“Correct,” said the boss, Another glass.
“It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old,a western slope, oak barrels.”
“Correct.” The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine.
Skebhe The alcoholic tried it.
“It’s a Nguni girl (Zulu,Swazi or Xhosa) 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who the father is.”
The director collapsed.
A dog chase A cock And it croAse And
the dog croAse kokoko thAt mAke it
the first dog to croAse
My brothers in 2018, let’s reduce cheating please..
one girlfriend per province is enough.
Marrying a lady of more than 30 years
is just like buying a newspaper in the evening
Me: Typing……
Her:….. “I already have a
boyfriend… dont type…”
.
I’ve Never been so heart broken guys
I was sitting at KFC enjoying my hot wings…a
well dressed man, caring a bag, walked in. In
the
mean time a woman walked in saying to the
man… Woman: My husband just died I have no
money to feed my kids…without no hesitation
the man open the bag and gave the woman R50
000 in cash. Me sitting there i was like wow this
guy is truly a good guy. Few seconds later a boy
came in sobbing and crying saying to the guy
Boy: Sir I’m an orphan…can you give me R10M
so that I can start my own business …without
no
hesitation again…the man opened a bag and
wrote a cheque of R10M and gave it to the boy.
Me sitting there I was like F***k it this is my
moment…this man was sent to me …out of
Nowhere I started sobbing and crying deeply I
left my hot wings run to the man kneeled while
gripping him by his trouser and said to him…
Me: Sir I have a wife and 6 children…and im
unemployed…can you give me R20M so that I
can start my own business too…some few
second later I heard people laughing from
outside…and the director said cut…cut…cut
…cut….sorry brother we are shooting a
movie.
You Attend Kids Birthday Parties,
Drink some juice Then You Call Yourself
A Party Animal
–
Yagula Wena,You are a Party insect
A Zimbabwean man went to a dentist in USA for tooth extraction and first enquired about cost. Dentist said $1200, the Zimba man thought it was too much.
After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods.
The dentist said, Yes, it can be done without anaesthesia and will cost only $300,but it would be very very painful.
The Zimbabwean man said “OK Dr, do it without anaesthesia”
The dentist removed the tooth without anesthesia and during the entire procedure the Zimba man sat quietly, even smiling a little.
The dentist was not only surprised, but was quite impressed and said
I have never seen such a brave patient like you. I don’t even want my fees, instead, take this 500$ as a reward, you’ve taught me such a powerful lesson today about mastering one’s pain and feelings !!!
In the evening he met his fellow dentists and told everyone about his amazing Zimbabwean patient.
Out of all doctors, one doctor jumped up and shouted that Zimbabwean man first came to me, I gave him anesthesia and asked him to wait outside for half an hour ! After half an hour when I called him he had left !!!
Did YOU know… English was invented in ENGLAND…Improved in AMERICA…Perfected in ZIMBABWE…Misunderstood in SOUTH AFRICA & murdered in NIGERIA
A real wife will sleep on the floor when his Husband
brings the side chick home
Are you having problems in your life? Are u strggling to make ends meet? Are you failing your exams? Having difficulty in finding a job? Is your health not doing well ? Are u strggling to find cash? If so …. yenzi plan
For all those ladies that carry a very big hand bag with everything inside except transport money let that nonsense end in 2017.
That act of ladies Borrowing Dresses To Come And Meet A Guy Who Has Also Borrowed A Room Should End this 2017.
Guys you see that habit of testing her if she is a wife material by being stingy to her?that rubbish too should stop this 2017.
I will Borrow Transport Fare And Come, I Hope You’ll Give Me Back When I’m Going…Ladies! Let That Nonsense Stop this 2017
“Baby go and lock the door first” that statement must continue in 2018 oooh. So important.!!!
You’re not dating her and you will come to her post and be commenting, “my love, my one and only”, and be scaring serious candidates away. Let that nonsense end in 2017
Some gals should please try and reduce makeup, you
kiss a girl on her forehead and it tastes like tiger head battery. let this nonsense end in 2017
Only guys that press breast a lot can differentiate between today’s bread n yesterday’s bread..let that nonsense end in 2017
Girls Panties Is 2k…
Male Boxer Shorts 30k…
So Ladies Hope U Now Seen The Difference?
So Don’t Insult A Guy For Wearing 1Boxer For A Weeklet that nonsense end in 2017.