Wife: You are smelling woman’s perfume, where did You get it?
Husband: From the woman I was squeezed with in the taxi.
Wife: What about the lipstick on your mouth?
Husband: Oo that one? I got it from Sandra whom I was congratulating for passing her exam.
Wife: What about the used condoms in your pocket?
Husband: Hey leave me alone don’t ask me silly questions. I want to sleep!!.
Wife: (Crying) This is not fair coz when I use them, I don’t bring them home.
Husband: (Waking up angry). What did u say?
Wife: Leave me alone, I want to sleep!!!”
Sub Categories
Comedy of errors :
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted. The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
‘to my loving wife, i know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I ‘ve just been checked in. How are you and the kids? The place is really nice but am lonely here. I have made necessary arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can’t wait to see you.
Stop calling workers by their old titles*. .
*Please address them by using their new titles accordingly and not only will they like it but they will even work for you HARDER than before for the same pay. They will stick to your company and will never ever leave you. Just try!*
OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive*
OLD: *Gardner*
NEW: *Plant nutritionist*
OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission technician*
OLD: *Car Cleaner*
NEW: *Vehicle Image Developer*
OLD: *Water Pump Operator*
NEW: *Aqua line Executive*
OLD: *Lift Operator*
NEW: *Vertical Movement Specialist*
OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Executive*
OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*
OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*
OLD: *Telephone Operator*
NEW: *Communications Executive*
OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*
OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*
OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Technician*
OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*
OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Executive*
OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Specialist*
OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*
OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestic Management Executive*
OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Technician*
OLD: *Gossiper* (my wife)
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Executive*
Dear White men,
U asked us to wear coats under hot sun, we did;
U said we should speak your language,
we have obediently ignored ours.
U asked us to always tie a rope around our necks like goats,
we have obeyed without questioning.
U asked our ladies to wear dead people’s hair instead of the natural
hair God gave to them, they have obeyed.
U said we should marry just one woman in the midst of plenty black angels,
we reluctantly agreed.
You said our decent girls should wear catapults instead of the conventional pants, they have obeyed.
You asked us to use rubber in order to control our birth rate,
we agreed yet we all know sweetness of live SEX!
Now U want our MEN to sleep with fellow MEN &
WOMEN with fellow WOMEN so that God would punish us like
Sodom and Gomorrah?
White folk, we say Nonsense!!
We don’t agree with U this time!
As proud Africans, we say a huge NO to GAY relationships.
If you agree with me,let’s claps hands together wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa
I am a 30 year old single guy, hard working and self motivated.
Am seriously looking for a beautiful,black and strong
Laptop to buy.
Whatever you do, always give 100%.
Unless you’re donating blood
TB Joshua’s wife is a prophetess.
Prophet Engel’s wife is a prophetess.
Prophet Magaya’s wife is a prophetess.
Mukandiwa’s wife is a prophetess…
Hayi kabi but how does it work that
every prophet’s wife automatically
becomes a prophetess,
is the annointing sexually transmitted?
As i struggle along nd they say i have nothing,
but they are so wrong.in my heart im rejoicing,
how i wish they could see.
Thank you lord fo your blessings on me
*IF FORCING YOUR WIFE FOR SEX IS RAPE…*
*THEN FORCING YOUR HUSBAND FOR
SHOPPING IS ROBBERY*
_GUYS HOPE AM COMMUNICATING !!!
When I die, don’t come to my grave to tell me how much you love me and how much you miss me, because those are the words I want to hear while I’m still alive
She told me she was coming to my place by 9 pm, But she came by 7 pm and caught me with another woman…
How can i forgive her for lying to me??😕
She’s not trustworthy
When my crush says she loves guys who know Mathematics…
i make effort to impress :
.
Me : You’re so vertically beautiful and the horizontality of your face is the square root of my love…mh I love you simultaneously
Do you remember when you & your ex said
you’re going to love each other forever?
*IDIOTS*
There were 3 boys : someone, nobody and madman
One day somebody killed nobody and madman called
The police and said I am madman speaking ,somebody killed no body so come here.
HA HA HA!
I just smoked weed for the first time and
this thing is so weak it has no effect on me.
Nothing has changed cause
I am still sitting on the TV watching the Sofa.
Life was much easier
When apple an blackberry
Were just fruits😅😆😀😁😂