Treat your girlfriend like a tooth brush….*
*Dont let anyone touch or use* *it*, *only you and you alone….*
*Keep it clean and safe…..*
*And please,*

*Remember to change it after every 3 months.*

*Its healthy. Thank you.*

He came home from work, tired. He sat down on the sofa and put his feet up. His wife brought him a glass of water. His son gave him a sheet of paper and he read through:

English 17%
Biology 25%
Mathematics 20%
Physics 17%
Chemistry 22%
Economics 12%
Agriculture. 39%
Geography 22%

Suddenly, he lost his temper and started shouting: “What is this? All the time you are on phone and TV! How dare you bring me such marks? How dare you?”

His wife said: “Be patient. Listen….” But he interjected,”Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all!”

His Wife said: “Oh,really?”
He shouted: “No one in our family has performed so badly,ever!”

The son said: “Dad, I am sorry I made you angry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. It is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1980 sir.”

The man became humbled and dumbfounded. Imagine the atmosphere afterwards. Calmness in the air. With a foolish grin on his face,he replied, “Son,you don’t know. Those days food was scarce.” 🤦🏽‍♀
😁😁😂😂🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼

*MORAL OF THE STORY*
James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

I know I’m single,
but somebody cheating on me bro I can feel it

Skebhe’s wife : honey! you boss is here, You better hide

Skebhe : no baby! you hide . I called and told him the reason I didn’t come to work , you are dead

Imaging taking a village girl to a hotel and
waking up the next morning to see her
sweeping the whole compound

Do u remember those awkward days at school?😊😄

1.When a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem but u already answered it😥

2.When another students asks for a graph paper bt u are finished and didn’t see anywhere it was required 😥

3.When the invigilator says skip question 6 we wll fix it later but it was the question u enjoyed the most😀

4.When question 1.5 says use answer of 1.4 to answer this question but you didn’t know the answer of 1.4😲

5.When ppl are using rulers and u are wondering whats going on 🤔

6.When u hear ur friends arguing after exams whether the answer was 35.5%or 36% but ur answer was 25000……

I should hv stayed in the womb
i wasn’t paying rent there

*Gals* are busy complaining that when men have ***x* or *impregnate* them they run away.My question is:-
when u score a *goal* do u remain at the goal post or run *celebrating wildly*😆😆😜😜
😂😂
wisdom will kill me

TEACHER: “Why didn’t you study?”

STUDENT (NYAA) “A year has 365 days for you to study.
After removing 52 Sundays, there are only 313
days left.
There are 50 days in the summer that
are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days
left.
We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that
counts up to 122 days so now we’re left with 141
days.
If we fooled around for only 1 hour per day,
15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.
We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are
used in this way each year, and so we are left with
96 days in our year.
We spend 1 hour per day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.
Personal health and medical reasons take up at
least 35 days in your year; hence you are only
left with 46 days.
Taking off approximately 40 days
of holidays, you are only left with 6 days.
Say you actually cook for 3 days each year; you’re left with 3
days in the year to study!
Let’s say you only go out for 2 days… you’re left with 1 day.
But that 1 day
is your birthday.

That’s why I did not study.”

“Teacher: Class dismissed.”

One word for Nyaa?