Son: Dad, my assignment is difficult
Dad: why is your assignment?
Son: what is the pencil in English?
Father: Okay? It’s quick, okay, okay, I’ll see you again what is your assignment again
Son: what is the pencil in English?
Father: Ah, what child hm “Mongle”
Son: Okay? Mongolian ” my classmate said, he said.
Father: Okay? I know I really miss a pencil.
My child: he said he said
Dad: ah maybe an eraser

Teacher : Ok class; let us show the
principal and our guests how
much we have learnt so far dis
year! Let’s do comparisons ….
So if I say small, you say small,
smaller, smallest.
[Students nod]
Teacher : Big
Students : “Big, Bigger,
Biggest.” ….
Teacher : “clean.”
Students : “clean, cleaner,
cleanest.
Teacher : “tall.”
Students : “tall, taller, tallest.
Teacher [smiles] :”very good!!!
Students : “very good, very
goodder,
very goodest.
Teacher : “oh gosh.”
Students : oh gosh, oh gosher, oh
goshest!!!
Teacher : “stop it now”
Students : “stop it now, stop it
nower, stop it nowest!!!
Teacher : “oh please.”
Students :”oh please, oh pleaser,
oh
please-st..
Teacher : “Look at me..!!!
Students : “look at me, look at me-
er,
look at me-est.
Teacher : “what a disgrace!
Students : “what a disgrace, what
a
disgracer, what a disgrace-st.
Teacher [furious] : I don die…
Students : I don die, I don dier, I
don
diest!!!
Teacher faint!

The pain of being made fool by the person you’re trying to make fool though

Ask your boyfriend to resend photos
you sent him last week Thank me later

With all due respect for the
LAWYERS

A lawyer who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to re-occupy the home.

He was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie…. “WE ALL KNOW”…lawyers cannot and do not lie. (?????)

So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes and the price was right — the agent asked: “How many children do you have?

He answered: “Twelve.”

The agent asked “Where are the others?”

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

MORAL: It’s not necessary to lie. One only has to choose the right words… And don’t forget, unfortunately most politicians are lawyers.

Today my mother In Law gave me a tea to drink then she winked at me.
Yaz Ive never been so scared like this to drink tea.

I almost cried in the Bus today when one
girl said “Please increase the volume of the window,
heat is happening to me”.

KINDS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:
1. THE UNHEALTHY: They always have
stomach ache, headache, back ache etc.
Facebook is not a clinic.
2. THE LIARS: Lie about their age, marital
status and use ridiculous names like Baby,
Awesome ,Angel, Dude, Miss pee, boo ,
Man, blah blah!!
3. THE WITCHES: They always like updating
about death, bad news and sickness.
4. THE TRAVELERS: Today in America,
tomorrow heading to Italy or South Africa,
next All over The country! Are you a
minister for tourism?
5. WEATHER FORECASTERS: They update
mostly when it is raining, cold or hot e.g
‘I’m freezing’ etc
6. PREACHERS: This are mostly single men/
ladies who are looking for a spouse. They
act holy and write Bible verses only on
Sundays and Fridays or on festival day.
7. THE CONFUSED: They are married today,
engaged tomorrow, next day in an open
relationship, in a complicated relationship,
single or divorced.
8. THE FIGHTERS: All they do is to seek
trouble on people’s post, they comment
awkwardly in order to start a fight.
9. THE (I Too Know): They will always
complain that u’re always online, they will
say; are you jobless? Sometimes u can’t sop
wondering what they are doing online
themselves. Seriously, man get a life and
stop face booking.
10. THE DESPERATE. They are always
posting pictures of them in different cars
claiming car owners and always updating
themselves in different hotels and
eateries…damn…are they car dealer or
Hotel room attendant?
11. THE PEACE MAKERS: These people are
very friendly and they appreciate peoples
effort, they say thank you if they read your
post and smile.
Note: These people are usually very rare to
find.
12. AND FINALLY THE HATERS: They will
never like or comment on your posts except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Or u put up an update which says you are “sad, heartbroken or in Pain”.
I mean they wont even Like this post..
e.g that’s a stolen post WTF, did i say i own it?

Teacher: How old is your father?
Nyaa: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Nyaa: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!

TEACHER: Nyaa, go to the map and find North America .
Nyaa: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Nyaa.

TEACHER: Nyaa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.

TEACHER: Nyaa, what is the chemical formula for water?
NYAA: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
NYAA: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER: Nyaa, why do you always get so dirty?
NYAA: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Nyaa, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
NYAA: Because George still had the axe in his hand……

TEACHER: Nyaa , your composition on ‘My Dog’
is exactly the same as your brother’s..
Did you copy his?
NYAA : No sir, It’s the same dog.

One word for Nyaa?

I was dreaming urinating in th the toilet,
as I woke up I found my blankets wet ,
I don’t know who the hell poured water on my bed!!! M so pissed