There live a woman who taught she was the best spelling teacher so she ask one of her students to spell fish when the student could not spell fish the teacher began to beat on this child then she say do you want to tell me common five you do not know how to spell it but you only know how to eat fish
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Imagine your boyfriend is a photographer instead of saying smile, he says I love you 😍 then you smile 🙈
Now scroll down because you’re single
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Stop rewarding yourself with food.
You are not a dog.
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A friend is one that knows you as you are, Understands where you have been, Accepts what you have become, and still, Gently allows you to Grow.
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Don’t try to be an genius coz a genius died trying to be a genius
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To my unborn kids Daddy is not the one delaying ,
Its Mummy she is still busy following guys on Facebook
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Call a woman “baby”, she will be happy,
but tell her she’s acting like a child,
then she becomes angry😕
➡…
Is baby not a child??
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Her: “Can a pregnancy drink beer if nine months is not arrived?”
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Me: “Forget about the beer, this type of English can cause miscarriage!”
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A boy touched his girl friend..
Girl said – touch me..all dat only after marriage..
boy said; ok .
call me after your marriage!
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“I DON DIE”
Is when u r oweing your landlord house rent for one year, and u go to the eatery and snap yourself when u are eating fried with chicken, and you come online and write, feeling rich with your landlord and 52 others
My brother better apply in the eatery, don’t come back to that house again
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. How much water did you drink ?
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Ever realized that your brain speaks perfect English, but your mouth is the one that rounds it to the nearest Nonsense?
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Hard fact about youngsters,
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They are always busy watching the desktop wallpaper.
whenever their parents enter their room
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WIFE: “Dont take my car today coz i wanna go shopping”
HUBBY: “Honey, u kip reffering to everything in the house as yours, u are supposed to use the word “OUR” in stead of “MY”.
The nextg dayh the wife seems busy looking for something whilst the hubby 9is speaking to her till he says,”Honey u aint listening to me at all right? what are u still looking for?”
the wife replied: “Honey i am looking for our pant and bra”
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Guys I want to commit suicide, help what should I use??
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Don’t tell me about using a rope, Ehhh it’s too dangerous “I might die”
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Life does not have any hand but sometimes it surely gives you a slap
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