hate people who use big English words
to make us feel perspicacious

Black people don’t measure salt . We
sprinkle salt until we hear the spirit of our
ancestors whisper to us “It’s enough my
child”.

In America, when two lovers stare at each
other, they kiss. In Africa, you will hear
something like :- “Why are you looking at
me, do you want to give me money? ” Life
is so beautiful in Africa.

Dear ladies.
Please when you decide to cheat on your
man, do it with a guy that your man would
defeat in a fight.
You cant hurt your man twice.

LADIES!!! LADIES!!! LADIES!!!
Wife: Honey, someone is beeping to your
phone
Husband: Who is that, would u check for
me?
Wife: No problem honey
(wife pulls phone from a charger and
checks the one who beeped)
Wife: What!!!!!? Who is this one you
saved…beautiful in your phone!!!?
Husband: Me!!!? There is no such name in
ma phone, let me see…..
Wife: See what, you know her, she is your
girlfriend… You are a cheat!!!
Husband: My sweetest wife, this is not
beautiful, its batteryfull

1. Girls who don’t wear half naked to get
boys attention…
2. Girls who don’t ask too much……
3. Girls who don’t post half naked pics to
get many likes on facebook…..
4. Girls that don’t sleep with every guy……
Do we still have such girls?……………
Yes or No..

The Japanese are obsessed with quality
and safety.
A safety warning notice for female
workers in a Japanese factory reads as
follows:
*If your skirt is long,*
*stay away from the Engines.*
*And If it is short,*
*stay away from the Engineers.*

When you build a house let your wife
decorate the ceiling, she has seen more
ceiling designs than you

In África we dont need Halloween,
.
Some girls make-ups are good enough to
scare us

Are you sad?
Is your boyfriend cheating on you?
Is he hurting you?
.
.
Listen and listen carefully,
It’s non of my business Bcuz you refuse to
date me, nonsense!

Yesterday I was with my Girlfriend in my room..
.
Mmmm this weather though..after some minutes she told me to make her feel like a woman…I quickly collected dirty clothes and give them to her..
Suddenly she left and I hope she’s going to buy soap

Who told people that if you want to see that
microphone is working you must say “one two one two

Why I Fired My Secretary I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,”I’m another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, “Happy birthday, dear. ” All smiles, I went in to breakfast, and there sat my wife, reading her newspaper, as usual. She didn’t say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee, made some toast and thought to myself, “Oh well,she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes, smiling and happy, and they will sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and have a nice gift for me. ” There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally, the kids came running into the kitchen,yelling, “Give me a slice of toast! I’m late! Where is my coat? I’m going to miss the bus! ” Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office. When I walked into the office, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful “Happy birthday, boss. ” She then asked if she could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better. Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said, “Since it’s your birthday, why don’t we have lunch together? ” Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, “That’s a good idea. ” So we locked up the office, and since it was my birthday, I said, “Why don’t we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place? ” So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and an ice lunch. We started driving back to town, when my secretary said, “Why don’t we go to my place, and I will fix you another martini. ” It sounded like a good idea, since we didn’t have much to do in the office. So we went to her apartment, and she fixed us some martinis. After a while, she said, “If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable,” and she left the room. In a few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids. And there I sat with nothing on but my socks.”

Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife
when he goes to work,
why don’t you do that?
Husband: How can I ?
I don’t even know her.

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby’s father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe.

My GF asked me today For my facebook password, . . .
We laughed and laughed and laughed… . .
Now Im single.