A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations. When the third man starts examining her body so closely,she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation? “The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor. “

When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of questions….!!
One Day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher:”
Why do.we ignore some letters in pronunciation. eg the letter….’H’…….in Hour, Honest, Honor….. e.t.c………???”

Ms. Doris: “We are not ignoring them; they are considered silent.” …!!
(I was even more confused…..??

During the lunch break, MS. Doris gave me her packed
lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria.

I ate all the food and returned her an empty container….!!

Ms. Doris:—- “What happened, I told you to go and HEAT my food & you are returning me an empty container??”

Me: — “.Madam I thought ‘H’ was silent”

A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.
“It’s not my fault,” I said, “Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?” he laughed.
I said, “I’ll prove it to you if you want me to!”
“Go on then.” he smiled, handing me the bag.
After flushing them, he looked at me and said, “Well, show me your pocket then.”
“What for?” I asked.
He said, “The drugs.”
I said, “What drugs?”

“In High school, I was very poor in Maths and Chemistry. During the exams, i’d get between 2% an 8%. The results used to be announced out from the lowest to the highest marks. So i would always be the 1st or 2nd to be called out. One day the Maths results were being released and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s &70s. Still my paper had not been called out. Everyone kept looking at me asking” Man wats up? And the teacher went on to the 80s and when he got to 88%, he had one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Maths ? I was feeling very anxious and happy now that I knew I had proved the so called Genius wrong.. The whole class was amazed as every one kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, There is a cow who did not write his name on the paper that scored 0%. If you have not received your paper come and get it now”

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,”he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand andwhispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”

​Imagine “You go to the drug shop to buy poison to
kill yourself but you still wait for your change…​😳😳😳😳😳
​are you serious?! “​

Teacher: “John, write a sentence on the board.”
Little John wrote: “My penis in your hand.”
.
The teacher slap poor little John.
.
Little John: “Oh my!! I forgot to put a space between pen and is.!”

Mama: Baby say ”mama”
Baby: M… Ma–
Mama: Omg you can do it baby! Just say ”ma…ma”
Baby: M…Ma…Mark Zuckerberg.

Kaway- kaway sa nasendang ng “I’m mark….” Fake new yan mga tol haha

Snakes for sale :
Adders – R80
Cobras – R70
Mambas – R90
Vipers – R100
Pythons – R120
Girls – R1000 ……..

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Plis my people prey for me i am righting inglish agein dis yeah , i have been feilling sins 2009 but dis yeah i am redi and confeedent i will pass weith an A
Do u think i wheel made it?