A man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98.
After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
“Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?”
The wife said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down…
And I know for sure, he won’t ask for directions.”
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A sceptical man came and asked the computer, “Where is my father?” The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with, “Your father is fishing in Michigan.” The sceptical man said triumphantly, “You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years.” “No” replied the super computer immediately, “Your mother’s husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout!”
Have you ever thought that the Mouse you killed
was thinking that it is part of your family?
Exactly you’re just thinking for yourself
you don’t care about others feelings
My sister stop asking guys what they do
for a living, they will lie, just take them to
bed and count how many round they can
go
1 round – rich guy
2 rounds – doing well in life
3rounds – unemployed
4rounds – broke as hell
Don’t be deceived by there looks
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. “How do you know that?” “Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer”
*My friend invited me to a wedding and while sitting I whispered to a person sitted next to me:*
*ME* the bride is ugly..
*PERSON:* if you dont mind, thats my daughter
*ME:* ooh am sorry I didn’t know you are the father..
*PERSON:* idiot am not the father, am the mother..
*ME:* heeeh
They say milk gives strength. I drank 4 cups of milk yet i wasn’t able to move a wall, but when i drank 4 bottles of beer i saw walls moving by themselves. These scientists are bloody liars
Then I found out only 1litres available,
and
turned back and told him..
He called me by names, and even told me straight that I’m stupid why I didn’t use my brain and buy two 1litres of milk to make it 2litre
And today he sent me to buy pair of size 6 sleepers shoes
I got all the sizes except size 6
So I used my brain and bought two pairs of size 3
To make it 6
Without a word, he used sign language
To alerted me to wait for him out side
Now he’s busy with his computer ,
I’m sure he want to give me some bonus end of the month
