The farmer decided to change the old cock and bring in a young one that would take care of the many hens.
When the young cock arrived, and upon realising that he would lose his job and maybe end up a dinner, the old cock
approached the young one and said: “Look, I know I’m old and that’s the reason why our owner brought you here.

But can you leave two hens for me?”

“What’s that old cock! I’m going to keep all of them,” said the young one.
“Just two,” insisted the old cock.
“I’ve told you. They’re all mine!” replied the young cock.
“Alright then! Let’s do this,” says the old cock. “We bet on a race around the poultry house. If I win, I’ll keep two
hens. If I lose, all hens are yours.”
The young cock sizes up the old one and thinks that an old and ailing bird cannot win.
“Ok old cock, I agree,” he says.
The old cock looks at him and says: “Since my chances of winning are very small, let me have 5 metres advantage,” he asked.
The young cock does not even think twice about the request and agrees to the old cock’s conditions. The race starts and the young
cock shoots in chase of the old one. The old cock makes a tremendous effort to keep advantage, but is quickly losing ground.
The farmer sees the scene and takes his pellet-gun and shoots at the young cock. After killing him, he turns and says to his wife:
“I don’t understand! This is the fifth gay cock we bought this week. These gay birds have stopped chasing the hens and are now chasing an old
cock, can you believe it?”

*Nothing beats experience*

I’m that typpa boyfriend that would
take ur phone n delete a
sms of a job interview

Closing your eyes after switching off your alarm
should be included in 1000 ways to die

Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room, right before their little son.
Daddy : ” Oh!!! You Bitch! ”
Mommy: ” What?? You Bastard! ”
Son : ” Daddy, Mommy, what’s Bitch and Bastard?” At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : ” It means Ladies and Gentlemen, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
2nd Scenario…
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex, and there they mentioned the words ‘breasts’ and ‘penises’. Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : ” Mommy, what’s breasts and penises? ” At this moment, Mommy turned blue, and quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy: ” It means coats and hats, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
3rd Scenario…
Daddy was shaving his beard and Son passed by the toilet.
Suddenly, Daddy cut himself and screamed…
Daddy: ” OH SHIT!! ”
Son : ” Daddy, what’s shit? ” At this moment, Daddy’s eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to say.
Daddy: ” It means shaving cream, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
4th Scenario…
Christmas is approaching, and Mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove. The turkey just wouldn’t fit into the stove, so she said…
Mommy: ” Oh FUCK! ”
Son : ” Mommy, what’s fuck? ” At this moment, Mommy froze.
She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy: ” It means stuffing, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
5th scenario…
It’s Christmas eve! Little Son exuberantly opened the door to let all his uncles, aunties, cousins and friends come into the house.
Proudly, he said…
Son : ” Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches! Please put all your breasts and penises at that corner of the house! My parents are busy at the moment. You see, Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs and Mommy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen, but don’t worry, they’ll be out here in a minute!”