👶: full tank is calling you
👩🏽: what?
When you go outside you find you boyfriend wearing Diesel label from head to toe 🚶♂️
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Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says “I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here”. The second baby says “I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here”. And the last baby says “I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here im going to cut it off.
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*If you have $2 and your wife has $98. The total money of the entire house is $2 (not $100).*
*If you understand this maths you will have peace in your home.*
*Are we clear?*
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Visitors Of Nowadays Are Boring ,
They Leave Without Giving Us Any Money
Shame!
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I wanted to suggest that when one of us in this App is sick, we can go n visit the person with 1 bag of Rice, 3 chickens, 1 ltr of cooking oil, Dollar 200 air time and cash of Dollar 500 If we all agree to my sugggestion we can start tomorrow, am not feeling well… I am feeling body pains all over.
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🙎♀️:Babe
🧔:Yes Babe
🙎♀️: I am home alone 😋
🧔:Don’t worry your ancestors are with you 😏
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My future wife💍 is not allowed to watch discovery channel☝
.
What will be she trying to discover ways to leave me no gal u gonna watch Regular Show and Mr bean
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I am a moral philosopher following
Socrates my predecessor and other
rationalist thinkers in the struggle.
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For it is written He who looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adultery “..
Similarly as we enter this cold season…
He who looks at soap and water
lustfully has already bathed!
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For once in my life, I don’t have to try to be happy.
When I’m with you, it just happens.
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A students is talking to his teacher.
Student:”would you punish me for something i didn’t do?
Teacher: of course not.’
Student: Good,
because I haven’t done my homework.
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I use six slices of bread to test if the sugar is enough
in the tea then after that i start eating…
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When I m with you… Nothing else really matters… It’s only you I see!!!
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Stop posting your problems on Facebook and
start drinking alcohol
like the rest of us..!!
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I am the master of my failure,
If I never fail how will I ever learn.
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You know you are now an adult when you fall asleep on the couch
and wake up on the couch.
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