There are ten ways to avoid broken heart
1. Never call her
2. Never ask for anything from him
3. Don’t be giving her all ur time
4. Work for money
5. If she ask u to meet her don’t go with money buh rather hide de money
6. Let her no u are rich buh very stingy
7. Always make her happy
8. Always advice her
9. Ask for sex in a polite way
9. Ask for her friends number
You will think that you mean something big to a person until u go through their fonebook, and find ur name saved as mosquito man.
Husband: joking with his wife “your bum looks like a braai stand”🙄
Wife: Gets offended 😡😥and goes to sleep 🛌
Hasband :politely …….Don’t you wanna make love today???!………..
wife:sorry love , I won’t light my braai stand for such a small piece of wors😪🙄
I’m that guy who can order a Debonairs Pizza
via some other people’s address then i wait
there by the corner and wait for drama 😋😋🤔
Dear sis Mpumeh,
I’m married for 9 years now. Every time my wife and I have a misunderstanding she demands transport money for her 3 brothers who stay in Kzn to come and beat me up here in Pretoria 😥
After they’ve done beating me, I must still give them transport money back to Kzn…🤔
What can I do please? I’m spending a lot. – Matome.
Sis Mpumeh:
“Dear Matome, I completely sympathize with you.
I suggest you and your wife just move to Kzn to save costs and get beaten there free of Charge –
With love you🤞
Sis Dolly🤝
In *Soweto * , one family’s door lock got damaged. They had to urgently attend some function in *Pretoria * …. Locking door was not possible. The family cleverly put a sticker notice on the door ” Covid 19 positive do not enter “, and went away.
After return, they found a new sticker notice in old sticker ‘s place,
“Sanitisation done, the house is emptied and Everything is cleaned. Now Stay safe”
😆😂😂😂😂😂😂
*Two minutes of kissing😘 and you are already breathing like a second hand Generator… And I wonder why you are single*😂😂😂😂
*Since I was born and now I am getting old I av never dated a Girl that ever asked Me to buy her Bible or Qur’an before?😏,*
*All their National Anthem is Buy Me a phone ,* *Buy Me Airtime,* *Help me with cash it’s Urgent.*
*Those of you who used to call the teacher when there was a free period*, *hope you’re working at world bank*…nonsense😂
WHY DO CHURCH GIRLS REMAIN SINGLE FOR SO LONG!!??😘😘😍😍😍😘😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Boy : Babe watsup?
Girl : Pliz my name is Grace not Babe
Boy : OK Grace how are you ?
Girl : The Lord is my strength ..
Boy : OK, What are you doing now?
Girl : am cooking
Boy : aww, should I come and help you?
Girl : I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me
Boy : hmmm OK ooo. At least I will come after you have finished
cooking the food so u will serve me..
Girl : pliz.., I only serve the living God and not human beings.
Boy : OK sister Grace what are u wearing now?
Girl : am wearing the full armour of Christ…
Boy : Honestly looking forward hold your hands one of this days
Girl : Touch not my anointed says the Lord
Boy : when will I see you?
Girl : Only those that are saved will see the Lord!
Boy : Alright, I give up…
Girl : God will never give up on you, so never you give up too!
Boy : What can I get for you on your birthday?
Girl : The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want
😂😂😂😂😂😂
*To those ladies who always seem to be totally asleep but when you start removing their panty they raise waist a bit to help you remove it nicely, May God bless you!!!*
*Once again please*
*If you are experiencing the following:*
*1. Headache*
*2. Poor eyesight*
*3. High temper*
*4. Always out of mind*
*5. Difficulty in sleeping*
*6. Easily gets angry*
*7. Cant communicate properly*
*8. Feeling dizzy*
*This is not CORONAVIRUS!*
*these are symptoms of a*
*person with no money!!!* *It is called POVID-20….Poverty Virus Disease 2020*
*Don’t get scared, this one doesn’t kill*. 🤔😅😄😀😜😆
*Stay at home & Be safe***
Ever realized that your brain speaks perfect English, but your mouth is the one that rounds it to the nearest Nonsense?
Black people will see their ex classmates pregnant and say “Eish this girl was very quiet at school.”
Who said pregnancy comes with noise?
*I’m selling chickens online, you transfer money, I will give chickens 🐓🐓directions.*🤒
*Lawyers will always complicate simple matters!!!*
*Who is a Lawyer?*
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a brief.
A Professor stepped into a law class and threw an orange at one of his students and said *”Give it as a gift to any of your friends now”.*
The boy said to one of his friends: *”Tee, I give this orange to you as a gift”.*
The Professor gave him a stern look and said: *”Give it to him like a lawyer!!!”.*
Immediately, the boy straightened up, cleared his throat and began:
*”I, Lucky Kunene adult, male of 16, Murray Street, Pretoria, hereby with all intent and purposes, willfully give unto you, Mr Goodluck Mabaso, of 22 Brown Street, Pretoria this citrus with its skin, seeds, segments, juice and supple innings that you may exercise actual and proprietary rights thereon, to hold unto same as a gift, a bequest, an endowment validly so transferred, given out, bequeathed, alienated, assigned, that you may eat, lick, devour, suck, make juice out of, munch or grant, give out, devolve, alienate in your rightful capacity as the owner either in actual, virtual or constructive capacity of an agent or attorney as may be chosen by you, that the said citrus may be treated in the aforementioned ways or other ways not so listed but not as a weapon to be thrown at persons or animals with malicious intent to hurt, inflict pain or serve as an incendiary action to incite unrest of any kind, but that the said citrus may be used in such beneficial capacity or simply be destroyed in such exercise of legal and equitable ownership as may be fit by the beneficiary of this bequest
