I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home.

Pointing a knife at me … He asked me “your money or your life!”

I told him I am Married… so I have no money and no life…

We hugged and cried together.

It was a beautiful moment.

Guys please pray for me..
The person I am depending on for Xmas is sending me call me backs

All the guys who drink 2 beers & start talking about opening a company should remain in 2017

If a man is allowed to select a girl from a possible of 100 girls…
Even if he picks the most beautiful one, he will still feel the pain of losing the remaining 99.
It’s Genetic !!!

Dating a 200m kids

Him: Bbe Can I see u today
Her: Tsi Tsi tsi Jooooohn Ceeeeeena tsi tsi
Him: What that now????
Her: You cant see me!!

May Your Xmas be free from Quagmile..Let it be Adoriferous, full of rampant cockistocracy, aggravated by the vitality of perambolity with the plumage of decapitation so that the new year will be congruental in as far as the mototiplity is concerned..
.
I hope English was compulsory at your school…

Good day

*After staging a coup in my house, I went to the sitting room to announce to my kids that my husband was now under bedroom arrest. “Your dad is safe and sound and his security is guaranteed. he remains the father and first in command of this house. However, I am only targeting the FEMALE criminals SURROUNDING HIS BONUS*

Enough about jokes on *wives*. Now somethng for *husband*…😉

A new metal is added to *chemistry*:

• Name – *Husband*
• Symbol – *Hb*
• Atomic weight:
– Light when found
first
– Tends to get heavier
over the years with
time

• Physical properties:
– Boils at any time
with inlaws
– Can freeze in front
of his own family
– Melts if sees other
women
– Very bitter if
questioned

• Chemical properties:
– Very reactive
– Highly unstable
– Possesses strong
resistance to gold,
silver, diamond,
platinum, credit
cards and cheque
books
– Money saving agent

• Occurrence:

– Mostly found in
front of TV, Laptop & Mobile.

Someone somewhere In Mzansi is
pregnant and scared to go home for Christmas..

December visitors never leave
until the fridge is completely empty