Life would be good if guys treated girls
the way their mothers treat Tupperware

When you put that ring on my finger,
you put a chain of death around my heart.

*Many women normally don’t have transport money to & from the man’s place. But once they suspect you’re with another woman at your place, I don’t know where they get the money, you just hear her knocking on the door*
*But women…. How*

The world has grown suspicious of anything
that looks like a happily married life.

A morning.
Mom: you can wake me up with your father and early in the morning.
Domeng is easy to climb.
DOMENG:tay, is now awake, mom says you’re still early in it.
Dad: tell your mom. I don’t want to enter! Is dropped.
Domeng: Mom, she doesn’t want to go to father.
Mom: (angry) tell you your damuho dad. Get up and he will be in.
Patakbong climbed is.
Domeng: Tay. Mom is angry. Please come in.
Dad: I will not enter! Don’t be naughty and you might taste! Domeng dropped again.
Domeng: don’t really like mom.
Mom: make it a way. Enter your father when that is not in classes,
You don’t have dota!
Domeng: Mom, nothing ganyanan. Dad doesn’t really like it.
Mom: ah take care of you. I am still hoping for 10 hours.
Domeng: WTF!? Just like lightning to climb the room climb.
Maya more, with a strong thump and crying to go down is hsbang
Holding the flushed cheeks.
Mom: oh?! Napano ka?
Domeng: Father hit me. (dropped dad, angry angry. )
Father: where is that fucking child.
Mom: Hey! You Batugan! Why did you hurt is? Father: how does it hurt!
I’m dinuraan in the head. Twice more.
Mom: is it true domeng? You Dinuraan your father?
Domeng: (crying) yes, I heard because you last night, you said dad.
” you’re duraan because of the head, don’t want to come in.” then you said.
” Duraan again when I really don’t. So I dinuraan with the head dad should be three
Times. A while ago, I don’t want to enter.. huhuhu. Mom is my dota?
Mom: this child is still a snack there

Your broke boyfriend doesn’t even take you out or buy u airtime … all he knows is saying
“wen will you come to see me ”

as if he is admitted in hospital* My sister pliz cheat on him God will understand your situation

Are U 18 yrs & above?
Do u have a valid ID passport?
Can U speak English & any other language?
Are U lookin for a 9am – 5
pm Job with a Monthly Salary of N350,000 and a weekly allowance of N20,000?
No work during wkends & u only have to work half-day on Fridays?
If U’re interested in this Job, Pls contact me with Ur
full details … SO DAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT 2GEDA…COS
Am also looking for that type JOB:😂😂😂😂😂😂

To avoid condom related accidents, use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between them.

If the outer one breaks, she will know; and if the inner one breaks, you will know!

– Wisdom will kill me

“A Zimbabwean man walks into a Capetown
bank and asks to see the loan officer. He says
he is going to Zimbabwe on holiday for two
weeks and wants to borrow R20. The bank
officer says the bank will need some kind of
security for such a loan, so the man handed
over the keys of his new BMW M3 parked on
the street in front of the bank. Everything is
checked out, and the bank agrees to accept the
car as collateral for the loan. An employee
drives the BMW into the bank’s underground
garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the
man returns, repays the R20 and the interest,
which comes to R25,41. The loan officer says,
“We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you
are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is,
why you would bother to borrow R20? The
Zimbabwean man replied, “Where else in
Capetown can I park my car safely for two
weeks and pay only R25.41?” Zimbabweans will
always be Zimbabwean and intelligent
too……proudly

Quitting FB is like running away from home…
we all know u doing it for attention
and that u will be back

*My phone is very spiritual guys*

Last Sunday l went to church ,I walked almost half way then my phone starts showing “NO SERVICE” I returned home very happy I knew *there was no church that day

Thanks to my phone .

So today I hugged a Xhosa girl immediately I received a bank notification that R125,00 has been deducted from my account

In a “Mental Hospital” of 38 patient’s, a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Dr: “Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;
(a). a teaspoon,
(b). a glass,
(c). a bucket,
and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

Journalist: “Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.”

Dr: “No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39.
We will start further investigations on you!”

Maybe i should Pretend to be gay so that
my crush can bath in front of me.

Dating a virgin is funny
You touch her nose then…
she be like “bae im afraid i will get pregnant”