Judge : “why did you steal the car?”
–
Ronnie : “I had to get to work”
–
Judge : “why didn’t you use the bus?”
–
Ronnie : “I don’t have driver’s license for the bus”

If the person I want does not want me,
this means the one who want me won’t get me…

Eish someone roasted me in the group chat last night…
He said”The way u are so ugly ur parents dropped u at school
and they got arrested for land pollution “

Ronnie went to a girl and hugged her without any warning.
–
Girl : “hey what was that?”
–
Ronnie : “Direct Marketing”
–
The girl then slaps Ronnie
–
Ronnie : “hey what was that for?”
–
Girl : “Customer feedback”

A marriage apply to the court to magpaannul.

Judge: what is the reason for you to magpaannul?

Girl: (spoke while bent down) your honor, he only likes me.

Judge: what do you have?

Girl: (still bent down) every time we love making a towel cover my face.

Judge: you mister why did you do that?

Mister: No comment your Honor. Just see for yourself.

Wife: (got angry and ihinarap the face to judge) see that person is really rude.

Judge: (while looking at my wife. ) annulment petition granted. You’re a man, why are you now going to annulment? Your patience.

That Ugly Selfie You Deleted,
That Was Real You!!!

Two immigrants from Africa went to America and they were told that in America they eat dogs.
–
So they went to a restaurant and order a “hot dog”. They opened it and
–
The other guy asked the other “hey which part did you get?”
–
The other one replied “eyii you won’t believe it, i got the penis of the dog”

Maria: can, I don’t want to boknoy.
Nene: Oh, why will it be?
Mary: because every time nagses * x we always want a dog style.
Nene: Oh? That’s okay. It’s okay. What’s wrong with that?
Mary: it’s okay. But not on the street.

Dear fridge, I’ll be back soon. Please go shopping. Sincerely, hungry

“I have enough clothes and shoes
I never need to go shopping again…” –
Said by no of girl ever.