A patient went to his Doctor who said, “I have bad news and really bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asked the patient. “You only have 24 hours to live” said the Doctor. “That’s terrible, what could the really bad news be?” The Doctor replied, “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you since yesterday!”

The boy is asking the old man:

– If you could give me just one advice, what that would be?
– OK, son. Remember this: if you have plans to change the world, do it now, while you are single. Once you are married, you cannot even change the TV channel.

You know she’s the one when you give her R300 and
she tells her friends that you gave her R3000

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.”

The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?”

The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died.

“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically went into shock.

He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?”

He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said, “You think you had a bad day? You’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch!”

Ladies•••
Sometimes you must call him with a wrong name
to show him that you have options
You will thank me later or not

ME: Babe, which letter does the word “Tuesday” end with?
.
HER: Y
.
ME: I just wanna know

When you trap your boyfriend by
getting pregnant & then he dies_

My brother don’t feel sad when these
Facebook gals don’t reply your inbox,
most of them can’t read

My biggest worry in life is that the same pegs that are used to pin down panties is the same that are used to pin down the dish towels and to clip shut a packet of milk.
Angilali ngalento

It’s hard to be a man
No make up, no weave…If you are ugly, you
are ugly

Woman Is Like A Road The More Curves
She Has The More Dangerous She Is…
.
But it’s none of my Business

Teacher : Add question tag!
“A girl is naked”
Mbula : Where is she?

I am 29 years old single guy with no child I’m from Pretoria and I’m working.I want a seriouse single lady who sell Laptop I want to buy it

When U Buy Your Girlfriend Phone And Another Man Buy Her An Airtime, It Is Called “Division Of Labour”. Wen U Buy Ur Girlfriend Underwear Nd Another Man Removes It, That Is Called “Separation Of Power”. Wen U Pay Ur Girlfriend Fees And Another Man Pays Her House Rent, It Is Called, “Combined Business”. Wen Ur Girlfriend Says She Is Nt Ready For Sex And Another Man Gets Her Pregnant, Pls, What Will U Call That?

Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl
of my choice.
Son: No.
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: Okay then!
Dad goes to Bill Gate.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry
my son.
Bill Gates: No.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the world’s greatest bank.
Bill Gates: Okay then!
Dad goes to the CEO of the world’s greatest bank.
Dad: Make my son the CEO.
CEO: No.
Dad: My son is the son-in-law of Bill
Gates.
CEO: Okay then!
This is BUSINESS!!!