A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.
“To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,” the attorney reads.
“To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.”
“And finally,” the lawyer concludes, “to my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong” (Nyaa smiles hysterically)
And the lawyer continued…
“To my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong,
Hi Nyaa!”

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.
The new guy asks his cellmate what’s going on. “Well,” says the older prisoner, “we’ve all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke.”
So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, “Number twenty-nine!” This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically.
When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, “How come you guys were laughing so hard this time?”
“Oh,” says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, “we’d never heard that one before!”

*Three fastest means of communications:*
1) Telephone
2) Television
3) Tell a Woman.
Still need faster communication ??
Tell her NOT to TELL anyone !!

I hate my Old Primary school teacher. One day i
visited him at his home.
*
I Found him outside the house. We had a chat about life,
how I am doing, my career and shit.
*
After that he ordered me to get into the house and polish
his shoes. As I got into the house, I found his 2 sexy
daughters wearing mini skirts
watching TV,
*
I said “Hi ladies, your father ordered me to come have
sex
with you.”
“You are crazy, our father will never will never say that.”
one of them responded.
I said
“He just did, should I ask him to confirm to you girls?”
*
“Yes” they replied.
*
I asked him loudly “Sir. Both of
them??” Teacher, “Yes Son, both of them now please

Some Guys will never take a Girl out on a date. All they know is: “When will you come visit me”?? As if they’ve been admitted at the hospital.!!

Having an “Ex” as your friend is like using a sugarcane as a walking stick.
Once you feel thirsty you will eventually chew it my friend.

July Is Colder⛄
Than A Slay Queen’s Attitude Towards A Broke Guy.

If Your Girlfriend is always looking Good but you know perfectly well that you haven’t contributed anything towards that; My Brother you are no different from a Security Man👮 guarding a Bank🏧

If you don’t tell your WOMAN she’s beautiful,
INDIAN men on Facebook will do it for you.

Me, Fight for a lady? Never!!
I’ll rather fight for food at a wedding.

The power of weed
One time the 5 guys had gone in the bush to
smoke weed.They smoke from morning till
14hrs and they run out of fire. So they
decided to send one of their friend to look
for fire.
The guy goes round the bush but couldn’t
find any fire.He then come across his friends
(same group he was with ) he asked if they
had fire and one of the guys says “we’ve
sent our friend to look for fire and if you
don’t mind you can wait we ‘ll give you
some as soon as he returns. He joined the
friends and kept waiting for himself.

Ladies…
Just because he put an engagement ring💍 on your finger that doesnt mean you must be rude and desrespect other men. You are not married yet but just booked for marriage. Remember booking can be cancelled anytime!!!

Nxaaa stop being n acting weird

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?😐
.
.
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins

Family WhatsApp groups are boring, lazy and dead. Wait until one mess up and see how everyone will be active in seconds⏰
Even your late Aunty who died 7 years ago will be commenting on her blackberry from her grave

Sometimes you just have to post on someone’s wall
and say,”Babe last night was epic” just to cause trouble
between those two happy couples.
They can’t be happy while we struggling out here 😡😡
there..

Nelson Mandela Will End Up Be In The Bible… `
Watch The Space!`