If your boyfriend/girlfriend or hubby/wife trust you……
believe me you are ugly.

Lets not argue on this

a son argued with his father insisting that 1+1=11…

The father looked at him and said: “Go and buy 2 boiled eggs”

The son went and returned with the 2 eggs…

The father said give one to me and one to your brother .. and the son asks: “what about me?”😕

The father responds: “Eat the remaining nine eggs that are letf….Nonsense!!”

Rich who was happy that his wife had given birth ran to the hospital….🏃🏃🏃

Doctor: “congratulations sir! Your wife has given birth to Triplet”😊

Rich: “Thanks Doctor but why did you and
my wife name the baby without my consent?

Real Men do one round and sleep peacefully
but these jobless guys will hit it all night
as if they’re releasing poverty

When I die please don’t let people come see me
in the coffin coz am shy I’ll end up laughing

I used to say” when I grow up I want to have beautiful kids”
until my mother said “i used to say the same thing but look at you”

Black parents will let u freeze in bed with
one blanket coz
the other blankets are for visitors.

Bae this, Bae that ,Bae here, Bae there
the day you’ll be dumped please
call a Press conference we deserve to know. .

Those girls who reject us and date Taxi Drivers…😩
°° °° °°
How does it feel to have shares in the UBER business ?

Scientists have discovered a new muscle in the human body called paraphalix Engina. It is the longest muscle ever discovered in living mammals. It connects the eye lid to the anus. *That is why the anus opens when you blink.* Now look at this idiot trying to blink to see if it’s true. I couldnt accept to be the only idiot. Come and beat me if u want.

I went for a job interview today when I entered the 1st question was “wait please” I answered “65kgs”. They were so happy they all laughed and told me to go back home they’ll call me soon.*

*I’m now ironing my clothes they myt call me early morning tomorrow, guys pray for me.*

*IT’S HARD TO BE A TEACHER AT TIMES.*..

*Teacher:* ”Construct a sentence containing the word “sugar”
*Pupil:* ”I was drinking tea this morning.”
*Teacher:* ”Where is the word sugar.”
*Pupil:* ”It is already in the tea..!!”

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! what are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!”
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he
has to check this out.
He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says shocked, “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink to get that big?”

If your wife/girl friend answers her phone in front of you and starts clicking the “volume down” button. That’s him my brother…. thats him.

Your deputy is calling…thank me later

Hie all….
I am selling a double door fridge for only R500 but doesnt have a door and that is not a problem because you can use a curtain as a door😂

Inbox if you are interested.

I can’t date a girl who pronounces ‘R’ as “Ggg”,
we wont get maggied because our Gelationship wont last.