Every village have this guy who always put
a speaker outdoors, plays loud music then
lock himself up inside the house.

I was In town this morning when
Japanese man approached me. ” please….
Can you take ” he said.” Handing me a
camera. As he stood against the wall
smiling.I got into a taxi an thought, “what
a nice guy”.

Don’t advertise your happiness on social
media.
Don’t advertise your happy marriage On
social media.
Don’t advertise your holidays on social
media.
Don’t advertise your kids achievements
on social media.
Don’t advertise your pregnancy on social
media.
Don’t advertise your expensive buys on
social media. (Car, house etc)
No one is going to be happy for you.
all the “nice” comments you get are just
fake.
you just attracting the evil eye on you &
your family.
you just attracting jealous people into
your life.
you don’t know who’s saving your
pictures & checking your updates.
you really need to Stop this as it is going
to ruin your life, family, marriage.
social media , if not used responsibly , can
be the devils eyes, ears & mouth, don’t fall
into the devils trap.
May God help us & save us from social media
disaster !!!

2 guys were swiming when a pregnant
woman drowned. They rushed 2 save her,
pulled her 2 safety. The 1st guy started
giving her breath by lip locking (mouth to
mouth). The 2nd guy took off the woman’s
pants and put his mouth on her private
parts! 1st man: “R you mad? W.T.F are you
doing?” 2nd guy: “Yeyi, you save the
mother and i save the child”

I mistakenly sent someone R 5000 through
e Wallet…in fact should I say I sent R5000to
a wrong number. After realizing this, I
calmed down and sent him/her this text
message: “Hello Dear, I hope you got the
membership welcome fee of R5000 to our
Satanism Church. We are glad and looking
forward to having you with us. That is just
the beginning of the richest life you are
about to start living. We hope you are as
excited to be joining our church as we are.
As I just said, that is a welcome salary. We
are having a meeting tonight whereby we
will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the
start of this month. Please invite over any
female person you may be close to. Lets
meet tonight at 8pm at YOUR PLACE. If you
haven’t shown any interest in our church
and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send
the money back to this number otherwise
welcome to our Church. See you tonight.” 10
Minutes later, I got a message saying send
another R5000 my friend is also interested’. I
fainted, people are so broke these days.

Me : 15:00 hello baby
Her : last seen 15:01.
Me : 15:03 Love.
Her : Last seen 15:05.
Me : 15:07 baby I miss u,I have a gud news for u..
Her : Last seen 15:08.
Me : 15:.10 I lv u.
Her : Last seen 15:12.
Me : 15:14…86324950021(used airtime).
Her : 15:15.baby is not working.
Me : Last seen 15:16.
Her : 15:16 baby re-send it again I wanna call my mom..u knw it’s her birthday..
Me : Last seen 15:17.
Her : 15:18.Baby the time u were texting I was sleeping and I dreamed about us getting married..
Me : Last seen 15:19.
Her : 15:20Baby talk to me I luv u.ur so special in my Life.
Me : Last seen 15:20.
Her : 15:21 Baby plz double check tht namber plz I lv u.
Me : Last seen 15:21.
Her : 15:22 baby plz talk to me.
Me : Last seen 15:25.
Her : 15:26 baby re send tht airtime i ddn’t mean to hurt u…I lv u so much.
Me : Last seen 15:28

If his phone rings and he goes
outside… Follow him and help him
find the signal
in relationship we help each other

My goal for 2018…

Is to accomplish the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016,because I promised them in 2015 and planned them in 2014…

I was shocked when l saw my uncle wearing Earrings & l asked him: “Are you a gay uncle?. He replied and said, “I started wearing them the day my wife found them in my car, l said they are mine”

MY neighbour sells weed
Its a secret
That’s why I won’t tell anyone

Black Parents will always say they don’t
have money, until you are admitted to a
hospital.
Then you will see juice, KFC, Pizza
and some things that you have never
tasted before
Why mara

The farmer decided to change the old cock and bring in a young one that would take care of the many hens.
When the young cock arrived, and upon realising that he would lose his job and maybe end up a dinner, the old cock
approached the young one and said: “Look, I know I’m old and that’s the reason why our owner brought you here.

But can you leave two hens for me?”

“What’s that old cock! I’m going to keep all of them,” said the young one.
“Just two,” insisted the old cock.
“I’ve told you. They’re all mine!” replied the young cock.
“Alright then! Let’s do this,” says the old cock. “We bet on a race around the poultry house. If I win, I’ll keep two
hens. If I lose, all hens are yours.”
The young cock sizes up the old one and thinks that an old and ailing bird cannot win.
“Ok old cock, I agree,” he says.
The old cock looks at him and says: “Since my chances of winning are very small, let me have 5 metres advantage,” he asked.
The young cock does not even think twice about the request and agrees to the old cock’s conditions. The race starts and the young
cock shoots in chase of the old one. The old cock makes a tremendous effort to keep advantage, but is quickly losing ground.
The farmer sees the scene and takes his pellet-gun and shoots at the young cock. After killing him, he turns and says to his wife:
“I don’t understand! This is the fifth gay cock we bought this week. These gay birds have stopped chasing the hens and are now chasing an old
cock, can you believe it?”

*Nothing beats experience*

his is why I don’t like abbreviations.

My neighbour, a sexy lady, texted me :
*i need your dic fo my ass,,,,,*

*me:* I quickly replied “but I don’t have condoms”
*lady:*”what condoms? I said I need your *dictionary for my assignment*.”

Eishhh

Madness is putting your girlfriend on your Whatsapp profile while other boys are putting her on bed. You need serious treatment.

TRUE STORY
A wife suspected the husband of
having sex with their
maid,then set a trap for him by
sending the maid to
the village without telling the husband. At night the husband told his usual
story, “I want to
go and watch wrestling,” and he left.
The wife silently went to the maid’s
room lying on the bed naked without any light.
Around 01:30 hours,he opens the door without
wasting time and without a word
had sex with her.
After the fifth round she said, “It’s enough I have
caught you, so this is how you use
to have sex with her. You have done five rounds and
you are still
demanding for another round when you only last for
two rounds.
Then BOOM……….!
The Garden Boy replied,” Am sorry madam I didn’t
know it was you. “hahahaha.

My Trust Issues Started When Mom Said ”
Come Here,I Won’t Beat You”..