You are dating a DJ
And you expect him not
To cheat,?
Someone that mix three songs
At the same time?
U need prayers my sister

Women who fall in love with rich married men or only date men who drive nice cars must never criticize prostitutes; they are in the same profession. The only difference is that they work in the private sector while prostitutes are in the public sector!

Man was updating his FB status when he received a kol 4m da police: “Sir, yo wife has died in a car crash, we need u to come and identify the body”. Man: “Im very busy ryt now, can you take a picture of her, tag me. If its her i will press LIKE”

How Can I Transfer Money that is in my mind to my bank account

Jack’s marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. “Well,” his friend says, “you can always have an affair.” “I can’t do that! I will always be faithful to her.” the troubled man replies. “If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won’t be cheating.” The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. “Honey,” his wife says, “that won’t help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it.”

Did u know that superman and supermarket are cousins

Teacher : “Who is the president of South Africa?”
Children : “Shaka Zulu.”
Teacher : “Correct, and the minister off defence?”
Children : “Benny McCArthy.”
Teacher : “Correct, what is the capital city of South Africa?”
Children : “Nkandla.”
Teacher : “Very good,
and who composed the national anthem?”
Children : “Black coffee and Dj Tira.”
Teacher : “Excellent, what do you call people from Moscow?”
Children : “Mosquitoes.”
Teacher : “Perfect, how much is 2 + 5?”
Children : “25”
Teacher : “That’s great, you’re going to be stupid like this until your government increases my salary!”

Girl : Baby can you speak Italian? Because you always watching their soccer.
Boy : Yeah I understand everything
Girl : mmmmmmmm can you speak a little so that I can hear you.
Boy : Neymer totti messi ancelotti pierro maldin di natale konti…
Girl : WOW and what does that mean?
Boy : In all the days, as long as Im breathing, you will remain in my heart.
Girl : Thank you Babe, I love you so much my guardian angel.
Boy : Balotelli
Girl : Whoa and what does that one mean???😘😘😘
Boy : I love you too…😎😎😎
Girl : Awwwwww..😍😍😍 oh how sweet..

WHY ME…..?
My girlfriend visited me last night.
When she went to bathroom to shower, her phone rang, I looked and saw Will Smith calling.,.. I didn’t
say much
After that, another call came in and when I
Checked, it CHRIS BROWN Calling
I was a little bit nervous but I calm.
Within few minutes, another call came in from different person, it
Was JUSTIN BIEBER calling. …
I said to myself, Doe’s it
Mean This Girl is A Celeb
And I don’t know?
As if that was not enough
Another call came in with a saved name as
DRAKE
Something stroke my mind and I decided to dial my number what I saw was Papa Penny calling!

I’m tired looking for jobs I’m looking for a girlfriend now
Any girl drop your CV via Inbox
Place
Age
Contact details
How many exes you have
5 years of cooking experience
Closing date Friday late application will not be rejected will be considered as side girlfriends
Interviews to be held at my room
Come with black skirt not black pen,sex statement and sex number not SARS no.No sexual record not criminal

No one runs faster than a girl with makeup
when it suddenly starts raining….
Even a cheetah cannot catch her

Your girlfriend will always tell you about the guys
she rejected not the ones she accepted.
Be wise

Teacher: Rainbow, define the word “coward”.
Rainbow: It’s a cow that gets award.

I don’t know why I’ve been suspended.

Teacher: Rainbow, define the word “coward”.
Rainbow: It’s a cow that gets award.

I don’t know why I’ve been suspended.

My Father says my Girlfriend is ugly but
when i look at my Mom
-aii let me drink some water!!

Do you still remember those awkward
moments in schools during Exams?
1. When a bright student tells the invigilator
that question 4 has a problem, but you have
already answered it…
2. When a fellow student asks for a graph
paper, but you are finished and did not see
anywhere where it was required…
3. When the invigilator says jump question 6
we will rectify it later, but it was the
question you enjoyed most when
answering…
4. When you see people busy using rulers
and you are wondering what is going on…
5. When you hear your friends arguing after
the exam whether the answer to question 5
was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was
-45000
6. When other students r bzy with a
caculator n u asking yoself “r we writing the
same paper
7. When you skip Q2 to Q3 coz you’re
clueless of what is required then Q3 ithi
“Use the answer found in Q2 to complete
this question”