Two single boys living away from home were talking among each other….

First -: “have you ever used a ‘ Recipe-book ‘ to make cooking..??”

The second boy :- “brought two-three, but the first step of making any recipe is the most difficult..!!”

First boy :- “which one..??”

Second boy :- *”take a clean pot..!!”*

A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

Dear baby mama
You are allowed to call your baby dad at 03:00 am
and tell him his baby is dreaming

Her : baby I’m pregnant

Skebhe : so tell me ,why you changed your name ?

Her : baby I’m pregnant serious

Skebhe : eh! and your surname too

Skebhe : Doctor I have a problem of forgetting things so easy

Doctor : when was that problem started?

Skebhe : Which problem ?

Sdumo : Do you think a woman can turn you a millionaire ?

Skebhe : yes only if you are a billionaire

*How to avoid Aids. 1st Round… Use Condom.*
*2nd Round… Don’t Use*.
*3rd Round… Use Condom.*
*4th Round… Don’t Use.*
*Believe me, HIV will be Confused.*

Is anything wrong if I stop the bus and
greet everyone in the bus,
then continue with my journey .

1.Ugly but caring.
2.Handsome but rude.
3.Handsome, caring but unfaithful.
4.Rich but ugly and short.
5.Handsome, caring and faithful but broke.
6.Broke, ugly but very good in bed.

Ladie’s Choose the Kind of Man yu wld want.

“African Education system has surprising outcomes.

The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to medical and engineering schools.

The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB’s to manage the First Class students.

The 3rd Class students enter politics, and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.

The Failures join the army and control politicians who, if they are not happy with, they kick or kill them.

Best of all…..
those who did not attend any school, become prophets, and everybody follows them.”

A teacher was teaching opposite words and
pointed to Nyaaa to stand up and answer some questions
Teacher:what is the opposite of Good?
Nyaa :bad
Teacher:Come
nyaa:Go
Teacher:Ugly
Nyaa:sexy
Teacher:you’re wrong!
Nyaaa:you’re wright
Teacher:shut up!
nyaaa:keep talking
Teacher:Ok,now stop!
Nyaa:Ok now carry on
Teacher:Get out of my class
Nyaa:come in my class
Teacher:Oh my God!
Nyaa:Oh my devil!
Teacher:you have Failed!
Nyaa:i have passed!

Two Wealthy Men were debating about whether having sex is
hard work or pleasure, and they couldn’t come up with one answer.
One of them decided to call the Garden boy and asked him the question,
“Is sex pleasure or hard work?”
After thinking deeply about this, the Garden boy replied “Sex is pleasure, Boss”
One of the Rich guys asked the Garden boy why he said so.
Garden boy responded, “because, boss, if sex was hard work you would have asked me to do it for you!”