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*Mxolisi:* _”Hey baby, ngi lana kini ngaphandle. Ukuphi?”_

*Gugu:* _”Eish baby, sorry angikho ekhaya ngila e-Jo’burg ngihambe izolo. Bow’funani?”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Eish, ag no it’s fine baby. I wanted to see you, ngino Ten Thousand Rand.”_

*Gugu:* _”Eh, baby!.. Okay just give me five minutes, I’ll be there!”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Hawu, 5 minutes from e-Jo’burg baby?”_

*Gugu:* LOL _”No, relax-a baby. Silana kwamngane wami, sithi kuse Jo’burg. It’s just two blocks away from ekhaya, ngiyeza now now my love.”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Okay ke baby, sizokulinda.”_

*Gugu:* _”Hawu nizongilinda? Kanti uhamba nobani?”_

*Mxolisi:* LOL _”Oh eish, sorry s’thandwa sami. Ngino Lindo, umngane wami wase Thekwini. Uyam’khumbula mos, angithi? We call him u ‘Ten Thousand Rand’ sometimes.”_

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I Village yase Mzola neyase Dandanda zenza umqhudelwano (competition) yokuphuza utshwala, ukuthi abobani omakoya bokuphuza. One week before kuqale icompetion iVillage yaseMzola ithume uNyaa ukuthi ahambe ku Village yase Dandanda ayobuza if they are ready for iCompetion.
uNyaa ma efika khona vele athole kuphuzwa. Bemnikeze u 25litre wotshwala basemakhaya (amasese) uNyaa ashaye u25litre awuqede in 1 hour!!! Bamangale abantu base Dandanda ukuthi ukhona umuntu ophilayo ongaphuza 25 litres yotshwala ayiqede!!!!
Abase Dandanda: (babuza beyethuke kakhulu) “Hayi bo Nyaa, uphuza 25litre wayiqeda! Nawe are you part of iteam yase Mzola esizo compete nayo?”
Nyaa: (ezihlekel) “Cha chaa chaa bafethu, mina ngihluliwe kuma Primary Competition, I could not make it to the competing team”

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Uthanda kabi ukuphila izimpilo zabanye zabantu.Izolo ubu Tom namhlanje uDick ksasa suwu Harry.Hlukana nokuzenza into ongeyona, doti.

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Ngthenge i Aunt Caroline(Rice) estolo sama China,
only to found out that u Aunt
oseplastikini akazifakile izibuko futh udiniwe akahleki.

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When your dad is gay
Him:knock knock
You:ke mang…?
Him:ke ntsatsago

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Ubozifundisa ukukhokha izikweledu zakho

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Masifika eZulwini sesiyoCharger eJerusalema ngoba iwona kuphela umuzi okhanyayo.

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I wonder amaqhoks 👠 anenzani emakhanda? 🙄 Umuntu ngokufaka nje i-heel useyi-Independent woman, a fighter, goal-driven mbokodo what what.

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UThimothi uthwele kanzima estobhini sebhasi usindwa ama-suitcase akhe amabili, ngalowo mzuzu kuqhamuke enye insizwa ithi kuye, “Uxolo mfowethu, bengisacela ukubuza isikhathi.”

Aphefumulele phezulu uThimothi, abeke phansi ama-suitcase bese ubuka iwashi lakhe esihlakaleni, “Isikhathi manje, it’s quarter to six.” Kuchaza yena.

“Hey, laze lalihle iwashi lakho!” kubabaza le nsizwa.

Amamatheke uThimothi, “Ja, lona alithusi. Buka la.” Asho akhombise le nsizwa ama-time zones akwamanye amazwe, hhayi ama-time zones nje kuphela kodwa nesimo sezulu kulawo mazwe.

Athinte izinkinojana kuleli washi bese kukhuluma izwi lithi, “The time now is twelve ’til six!” Lasho leli zwi lisho ngendlela okukhuluma ngayo abantu baseNgilandi. Aqhubeke athinte izinkinojana zewashi uThimothi, izwi lisho okuthile ngesiJaphani. Athi uThimothi, “Lapha ngifake amazwi ahlukahlukene kuye ngokuthi ufuna ukuthola ulwazi lwakuliphi izwe.”

Display yaleli washi yayimangaza, yayiveza kucace konke kuthi bha ngingasayiphathi-ke eyezwi elikhulumayo kuleli washi. Le nsizwa ebuze isikhathi yathatheka, yayisilifuna leli washi.

“Akukhona lokho kuphela.” Kusho uThimothi. Asho athinte izinkinobho futhi, kuvele ibalazwe (map) laseThekwini, “Lama chashaza abhanyazayo aveza ukuthi sime kuphi, asebenzisa i-satellite positioning.”

“Ngiyalifuna leli washi, ngifuna ukulithenga!” kusho lo mlisa obebuze isikhathi.

“Cha bo, alikakulungeli ukudayiswa leli washi. Ngasalungisa amaphutha elinawo.” Echaza umsunguli. “Buka la.” Eqhubeka ekhombisa le nsizwa iwashi lakhe ukuthi liyakwazi ukudlala umsakazo (FM radio), likwazi ngisho ukuqopha izwi uma umuntu ekhuluma kanti futhi ungakwazi nokufunda imiqhafazo (SMSes), uphinde ufunde nezincwadi ezeqile ku-200, “Kodwa mina ngisafake ezingu-32 engizithandayo.” Kuphetha uThimothi.

“Kumele ngilitholile leli washi!” Kusho le nsizwa ingasabambeki.

“Cha bo, awuqondi. Alikakulungeli ukudayiswa…”

“Ngizokunika R1000 njangamanje!”

“Cha, libiza kakhulu kunalokho.”

“Ngizokunika R5000!”

“Kodwa alikakulungeli…”

“Ngizokunika R15 000!” Yasho yadonsa i-cheque book le nsizwa.

Athule uThimothi acabange, yena cishe usebensise R7 500 ukwakha leli washi. Ngalo R15 000 angakhanda amawashi amabili mhlampe ayobe esekulungele ukudayiswa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha.

Le nsizwa iqede ukubhala isheke itatazela, ilithathe iliphayizise ebusweni bukaThimothi, “Nali isheke, ngizimisele ukukunika lona njengamanje. R15 000, take it or leave it!”

UThimothi kwadingeka athathe isinqumo ngokushesha, “OK.” Washo elikhipha esihlakaleni iwashi lakhe bashintshiselana, yaqala yahamba ijabule le nsizwa.

“Hey, mana lapho!” kumemeza uThimothi, aphenduke umlisa emangele.

UThimothi akhombe ama-suitcase amabili lawa kade emsinda, “Ungakhohlwa ama-battery akho!”

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Umfundisi uDube wayedlala igalofu noMdelwa ngenye imini, ngebhadi uMdelwa kwakungamlungeli kwigalofu. Kwakuthi lapho egeja umgodi athi, “Shit, ngageja!”

Baqhubeka badlala, kwathi emva kwezikhawu eziningana elokhu esho kanjena uMdelwa lapho egeja umgodi; wahluleka ukuzibamba umfundisi uDube wathi, “Ngicela ungakhulumi kanjalo mzalwane, ngale kwalokho uNkulunkulu uzokujezisa.”

Axolise uMdelwa umdlalo uqhubeke. Kwathi eqeda kuxolisa nje waphinde wageja komunye umgodi, wase ephahlukile, “Shit, ngageja futhi!”

Wayelokhu esho kanjalo emigodini emithathu elandelayo. Wayeseqala ukuthukuthela okaDube manje ngenxa kaMdelwa wase ethi, “Ngicela ungizwe kahle mzalwane, luyeke njengamanje lolu limi olukhulumayo. UNkulunkulu uzokuzwa bese ekujezisa!”

Lokho akuwenzanga umehluko, uMdelwa wageja umgodi olula ibhola legalofu liseduze nomgodi. “Shit! Ngageja futhi.”

Ngawo lowo mzuzu kwavuleka isibhakabhaka kwaphuma umbani washaya umfundisi uDube waphangalala khona lapho.

Makhathaleni kwezwakala izwi elikhulu esibhakabhakeni lathi, “Shit, ngageja!”

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Kukhona asebeqoma ngokutatazala, phela kusile kusasa. 😏

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Izingane zakho Smakade, zihlulekile ukuba ne-summer body. Sezifaka ikhethenisi elimnyama phezu kwe-bikini.

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Uzwe mthakath wangakini odumile ethi “Bengingazi ukuth usubuyile,isazobonana!!

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Angikwazi nhlobo ukuncenga, ngisho ikhala lami libhlokile ngiphefumula ngomlomo.

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