Me: hie girl ngicela inumber yakho.
Her: ok nanso 132665558600
Me: ohh ngeye Telkom yini.?
Her: No ngeye Capitec.
Me: Fainted until now angikavuki.

I learned that girls are impressed by material things in 2001,
when I heard Noxolo singing
“Iskipa s’ka Jonny esbhale u7 siyang’chaza”

Kumnandi ku-2018, kuyaphiliswana kuma-relationships.
–
GIRL 1: “Hey, ngithole inamba yakho efonini kaSiya. UZanele lo okhuluma naye, naye ujola nawe angithi?”
–
GIRL 2: “Ja, uSlie lona. Yebo ngijola naye uSiya.”
–
ZANELE: “Uyazi ngifica ku-clean endlini, nguwe yini obukhona?”
–
SLIE: “Nope, ngigcine ngoKhisimusi mina. Awubuze uNomsa uma’ wengane, mhlawumbe nguye. 071 263…”
–
*UZanele afonele uNomsa (baby mama)*
–
ZANELE: “Hi, ukhuluma noZanele, lo ojola no-baby daddy wakho.”
–
NOMSA: “Oh, ja ngiyakwazi. Ngike ngazibona izithombe zakho efonini yakhe. Ngiyayithanda i-short hair yakho ‘yazi.”
–
ZANELE: “Ncooh, ngiyabonga girl. Awusho, uwena yini obusendlini? Ngisho ngoba ngifica ku-clean, ngifuna ivest emhlophe ebikubhaskidi wezimpahla kanye nezicathulo ebeziphansi kombhede.”
–
NOMSA: “Ivest isewodrophini kulezi nto ezi-ayiniwe zagoqwa kahle. Izicathulo zibheke ngenhla, khona lapho ngaphansi kombhede ngakwi-side elilala ubabakhe.”
–
ZANELE: “Ey, wayidlala girl! Ngiyabonga. Bengikhathele, bengingeke ngilunge yi-washing.”
–
NOMSA: OK, love ayikho inkinga. Angiwa-ayinanga amabhulukwe, ubowaqedela doll.”
–
ZANELE: “Alright, will do.”
–
*UZanele afonele uSlie*
–
ZANELE: “Thanks, ngimtholile.”
–
SLIE: “OK, sthandwa. You’re welcome.”

Whites: I’m an electrician
Zulus: Uyabona uma bekhuluma ngogesi,basho mina
😂😂😂🤷🏿‍♂️

UMBONA NGOKUDLALA UMASKANDI KUTHI LOH AKANA MATRIC

Ungene kwiRelationship uthi uzimisele
ngokuhlala, uthi uyafika iy’tulo azikho

These days relationships are about sex meke nje yakvakashela intombazane wayibukisa ama movie nashaya ilunch emnandi then kiss kancane bese uyomgibelisa zobona ngaye esegijima kubangani bakhe
.
” Waze wathithiza umfana nywee nyweeee istabane”
.
You cant even have 1round bese uyalala noma ukhathele kmele uphaphame ubsuku bonke ulibele ufenda ngoba if you dont she’ll jump to other guys athi uyabheda
.
Girls are Dogs,what happend to love? They think every thing is about sex,lets cuddle,watch movies,have pillow fights,take walks eBeach…..love us girls please dont see us as sex toys

Asiyihlaziyeni bakwethu. UMelusi wayadinga umsebenzi kweleMelika, wafika wasebenza wenza izimali zakhe, wasethumela umbiko eZimbabwe ukuba abangakubo abamdingele umfazi omuhle ozithobileyo, ngesikhatshana batsho sebelitholile icishalanga, ngeviki elilandelayo wabuya ekhaya UMelusi, uthe nxa ekoBulawayo wahlangana letshatshazi lentombi isilingo samkhulela wasezibika kwavunyelwana, basuke baqonda eguest house baqeda ubusuku bekhona, ekuseni uMelusi wavuka elubhekise ngakibo eMagwegwe, wathi efika bathi unkosikaziwakho uphumile uyojika manje, ngesikhatshana wayesethelekile unkosikazi ayemdingelwe, uMelusi wathi ephakamisa ubuso wabona ngulowana obelele laye eguest house. Sithi laba bobabili bafeba yini kumbe uMelusi walala lomkakhe. Kumele uqhubeke yini umtshado?

Angilwi!! Ngicel ukbuza kulaba abanempandla if begeza bayigeza kanye nekhanda or kanye nobuso

Tell me if i’m lying.
TELEPHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN
LADIES:
Bongi : Hello Chommy.
Lindi: Hi my friend.
Bongi: Am fine dear, I’ve missed
you a
lot.
Lindi: me too.
Bongi: I was thinkin of payin you a
visit this afternoon.
Lindi: Ok my dear.
*AFTER DROPPING THE CALL*
Bongi : Argh i can’t believe am
going
to visit that dirty girl again.
Lindi: This witch is coming here
again,
she thinks I will buy her
drinks with my money again, she
must be joking.
TELEPHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN
BOYS:
Sipho: Bastard how u doin?
Mpho: lol foetsek wena Mad man.
Am
good. Wena?
Sipho : Ke sharp, u with your ugly
girlfriend?
Mpho: hahaha f$*k u neega!!!!!
Sipho: come join me, i have few
beers.
Mph: Ok Idiot, am coming.
*AFTER DROPPING THE CALL*
Sipho: That Mpho can be funny at
times but always great
companion anytime.
Mpho: my good friend Sipho is such
a
great pal.
LESSON:Most girls are always nice to
each other but they never
really like each other & Boys are
always mean and rude but they
will always have each other’s back
TRUE OR FALSE ???

Blacks will point at an empty chair and ask ukuthi “kuhlezi bani laphana?”.