MUNTU ABE MUBI NGATHI UNGIBELE TRAIN E WRONG
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“DLala ngama shi shi ”
Kusho ubabakho esiyalanda u plate number four emshadweni😂
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Wife : Wena Phuthi ngibone uSusan ekwenze I profile picture yakhe.?
Me: Ohh ok.
Wife : Uthi ok njani mina ngikutashela. Uyini kaSusan wena?
Me: Ngiyi Profile picture yakhe angithi nguwe otsho njalo.
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Pastor : nkulunku unamandla 💪🏻💪🏻💪
Child :uGym naye yin
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Ukube ububi bu’hlungu ngabe baningi abantu
Abagcwele iy’bhedlela
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Uma ufuna indoda enemali, cacisa phela ukuthi enamalini.
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Ungabi serious ku Facebook siyadlala la, buka nje nenkukhu inkulu kunemoto
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Aybo webafwethu ungafisi ukthandwa intombi yakwa Gcwensa, eyi ziyayidla inyama lezinto bo lisala li empty i fridge ngkhuluma ngento engyaziyo.
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Ngicela abazokhala emngcwabeni wami bakhale kule post manje,
ngifuna ukubala ama-plate
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Morning Mzansi
Noma iCall duration yenu ingathi 1hour 59 minutes 59 seconds
okusalako nizohlukana
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Teacher:What does HIV stands for?
Boy:Holiday in Victoria falls.
Teacher:(Angry)u kids are stupid last week lathi umntwana wemvu yimvana now u keep repeating your stupidity, and wena Fatso i asked you nicely ukuthi’what’s a baby lizzard called’and u said Lizzy.Cynthia lawe uyahĺeka.That day i asked you where fish come from and u said egabheni.l give up manje.Tsitsi akungiphendule, ilizwe elilungisa amakombi kuthwa kungaphi?
Tsitsi:tsikombi
Teacher:Simba make a sentence ele word ‘sugar’.
Simba:umama unatha itiye.
Teacher: manje ibala elithi ‘sugar’lingaphi khonapho?
Simba:liphakathi kwetiye
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NGEKE UBE NESIBINDI NJENGOMUNTU EDAKIWE.
UBheki ufika udakiwe kubo, kune-family meeting. Baphelele bonke.
GOGO: 👵🏽” Hawu lo mntwana! Ufika udakiwe futhi?”
BHEKI: 😡 “Thula wena salukazi ndini! Le nto engakwazi ukufaka i-airtime efonini.”
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BABA: 👨🏽🦱 “Hawu! Ukhuluma nomama kanjalo?”
BHEKI: “Awukahle-ke wena, umithise umfazi wabantu.”
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BAB’OMNCANE: 👨🏼🦱 “Hhayi bo! Wemfana khuzeka!”
BHEKI: “Uthini-ke wena owondla ingane okungeyona eyakho?”
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MAMA: 🙆🏼♀️ “Bheki mfana wami…”
BHEKI: 😯 “Wena-ke nje, ngizomtshela ubaba ukuthi kade ukuphi izolo.”
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MFOWABO: 👦🏽 “Hawu bafo, kahle…”
BHEKI: “Hhayi! Awume kancane wena, lent’edlisiwe.”
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SISI WAKHE: 👧🏽 “Hhayi Bheki! Kwanele manje!”
BHEKI: “Wena usuyamazi ubaba wale ngane oyikhulelwe?”
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MALUME: 👨🏾🦱 “Hhayi mshana!”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke konje wafa kanjani umalumekazi njengoba usucebile?” 🤔
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ANTI:🙆🏽♀️ “Hawu bakithi”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke nje ngizosho ukuthi ngakubamba wenzani nobaba walaphaya ngaphesheya kwaZwane.”
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MKAKHE: 😲 “Awu, kodwa babakhe!”
BHEKI: “Thula wena, abakufuni la ekhaya, bathi udla imali yami!” 😡
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мнla waвa leѕĸнaтнι ѕaмι ngιyoĸυвυza υĸυтнι waтcн υlιтнenge nιnι
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Abemubi usis uze ufise lokumbuza ukuth ”
so uyatshona unje ilanga lonke?”
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USibanda usebenza eMoshi (mortuary) ukugeza izidumbu, one day efika endlini evela emsebenzini: ‘uyazi nkosikazi namuhla emsebenzini kwenzeke isimanga, ngigeze esinye isidumbu esilepipi egobileyo elensumpa ezimbili’. UMaNcube aphathe imikhono ekhanda asiqhinqe: ‘Mayebabo Nkosi yami uGwebu kasekho’
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*Namuhla amanzi okugeza awele impukane ngahle ngawalahla. Angifuni doti phansi kwami*
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