When your girlfriend visits u at home
Then your 8 year old little sister ask infront of your girlfriend:
“Kanti uphi uMpumi? Mpumi muhle yooh”
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Rest in Peace bro
You are dead
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Ubafo ucoshe umdlwane weBhubesi ezihambela ezintabeni wathi uzozkhulisela wona awukhonkothi sdalo ngyabona unamahloni🥺
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URamaphosa Wenu selokhu aba uPresident
akaze aphose Ngisho Eyodwa iRama
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Phone call:”Sure boss nayi lenja ngigibele nayo la taxin…ngitoydubula nayehla”
AZANGE SEHLE SONKE KULEYO TAXI.
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Vele mina ngizithandela iJuba kanye no mqombothi ukuthi ubungadayisi ngo December
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NGEKE UBE NESIBINDI NJENGOMUNTU EDAKIWE.
UBheki ufika udakiwe kubo, kune-family meeting. Baphelele bonke.
GOGO: 👵🏽” Hawu lo mntwana! Ufika udakiwe futhi?”
BHEKI: 😡 “Thula wena salukazi ndini! Le nto engakwazi ukufaka i-airtime efonini.”
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BABA: 👨🏽🦱 “Hawu! Ukhuluma nomama kanjalo?”
BHEKI: “Awukahle-ke wena, umithise umfazi wabantu.”
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BAB’OMNCANE: 👨🏼🦱 “Hhayi bo! Wemfana khuzeka!”
BHEKI: “Uthini-ke wena owondla ingane okungeyona eyakho?”
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MAMA: 🙆🏼♀️ “Bheki mfana wami…”
BHEKI: 😯 “Wena-ke nje, ngizomtshela ubaba ukuthi kade ukuphi izolo.”
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MFOWABO: 👦🏽 “Hawu bafo, kahle…”
BHEKI: “Hhayi! Awume kancane wena, lent’edlisiwe.”
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SISI WAKHE: 👧🏽 “Hhayi Bheki! Kwanele manje!”
BHEKI: “Wena usuyamazi ubaba wale ngane oyikhulelwe?”
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MALUME: 👨🏾🦱 “Hhayi mshana!”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke konje wafa kanjani umalumekazi njengoba usucebile?” 🤔
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ANTI:🙆🏽♀️ “Hawu bakithi”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke nje ngizosho ukuthi ngakubamba wenzani nobaba walaphaya ngaphesheya kwaZwane.”
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MKAKHE: 😲 “Awu, kodwa babakhe!”
BHEKI: “Thula wena, abakufuni la ekhaya, bathi udla imali yami!” 😡
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Azipheli ezibuhlungu sekuphinde kwashona ilanga 😂😂
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Usathi uvika impam kababa wakh avel ashibilike awe avuke eseth ooo usuyalwa manj🤣
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Yabona Beyonce umasekazothi
Wimpy all night
Ayi ngivele ngilambe straight
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Him : don’t green me
Her:????
Him: ungangizazi
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SIKUJWAYELE LOKHU NJENGABANTU ABAMNYAMA:
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1. Silobole kuphele 5 years, umshado dololo.
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2. Abazihluphi nge-divorce, they just separate for the rest of their lives.
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3. Bahlezi be-late emasontweni, emsebenzini and everywhere else ngaphandle uma kuyiwa ebumnandini, especially when “Club entry is free before 11pm.”
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4. I-Diabetes siyibiza ngoshukela.
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5. I-toothpaste yonke ekhona ibizwa nge-Colgate.
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6. Ubathola be-driver imoto etown, ivuliwe amawindi ngisho kuthiwa liyana ngoba befuna ukubonwa or umuntu abamaziyo khona bezombingelela.
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7. Emicimbini baswenka beconse khona bezobukwa, kodwa abafiki nazipho (presents).
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8. Umndeni nomndeni kuba khona isihlobo esine-criminal record.
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9. Uma befa bashiya izikweletu, engabe bashiya amafa.
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10. Uma bephukelwe yifriji balenza ikhabethe.
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11. Uma begugelwe yiphentihosi balenza iduku.
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12. Ushaye u-callback uthi ungibhazile.
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13. Ugugelwe yithawula ulenze isikorobho.
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14. Isitsha se-Rama siphatha ngaso ukudla emsebenzini.
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15. Steelwool senziwe u-cricket.
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16. Umbhede usekwe ngezitini.
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17. Ibhodlela le-mayonnaise siliphendula ibhodlela likasawoti kumbe lika-curry powder.
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18. Sigeza sizikhuhle ngesaka lama-orintshi.
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19. Ama-corn flakes kuthiwa ama-Kellogs.
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20. RSVP, asiyazi leyo nto. It’s either siyafika or asifiki, usuyobona nawe.
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21. Sithenga izicathulo ezibizayo bese sihlobisa nge-cardboard lakhona.
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22. Container ye-yoghurt 1kg uma isiphelile sifaka kuyo steelwool, skirpoto nensipho yokugeza izitsha.
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23. Isaka lempuphu liphenduka ivovo lokuvova utshwala besintu.
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24. Isigubhu se-Powerade siphatha ngaso i-juice esikoleni. (Phika phela)
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25. Isigubhu sika-2 litha we-juice/wamasi sifaka kuso imbiza yokuchatha.
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26. Uma kuphela impuphu sibiyele ingadi ngesaka lempuphu.
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FAKA OKWAKHO NAWE SIHLEKE SONKE
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Ekhaya mina angilwi, ngiphendula epletini uma sengiphaka.
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Asilele lapha losbali wenu uthi ngigqok’ iswimming pool akavum ma ngimchazel ukuth iswimming question lena.
Akunkan usbali wenu ngiyamyeka🙌
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Sesbona ngama Blocks
Ekhanda kuth lo
ndoda yakhe umahlalela
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Sorini kancane 🙏ngyazi ni busy
☝️Ikhona yin indawo edayisa utshwala nge Medical Aid la KwaMashu ??
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Hlafuna kahle phela
Besho kwiChiefs idla
iPirates
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