My wife took my📱phone and deleted Dineo’s number and saved her number as Dineo.
You see, someone had tipped my wife off about my Dineo. I then got an SMS from Dineo asking for airtime. I rushed to the spaza, bought the airtime, and sent it to Dineo. She did not acknowledge receipt of the airtime.
When I was relaxing at home after work, I kept wondering if Dineo had received the airtime. I sent her an SMS to find out if she had received the airtime. Her response was, “Call me now”.
I got out of the house to make the call.
Me:(whispering) Neo baby zkhiphani?
My wife:”Futsek ngena endlini”. Ngisami phandle lamanje ngingene njani endlini kodwa?

step Father :Wahamba uGesi
Kids:kwasala wena

Uma usushiyiwe yeka ukuthi “Ngeke umthole onjengami ” 🙄

Onjengawe phela akasafuneki😁

Nakhu uSipho uyaxoshwa emsebenzini bese ecabanga ukuvula ikhemesi nangempela ayivule aqashe abantu abawu2 ukuthi bamsize bese ebeka imithetho ukuthi “Mawulaphekile ukhokha uR1000 uma ungalaphekanga sikubuyisela uR5000 back” akubeke ngaphandle lokho njebhodi …. kuqhamuke iphoyisa lifunde langaphandle libone ukuthi iningi lemali angene ngaphakathi

PHOYISA: dokotela nginekinga yokungayizwa I taste yokudla engikudlayo

DR: basebenzi ngicela ibhodlela number 22 lapho .. phuza lana

PHOYISA : aphuze ( arghhh ) ungiphuzisa umchamo lona

DR: khokha ndoda sewukwazi ukuzwa I taste manjr uzwile ukuthi ngumchamo lo(likhokhe iphoyisa ..libone ukuthi libhayizile libuye futhi ngakusasa )
PHOYISA: dokotela nginenkinga yokungakhumbuli ebingikudla izolo ngisize (imambane le iyayifuna lemali)
DR: basebenzi lethani lelo bhodlela unumber 22.
PHOYISA: cha cha cha aii leli bhodlela layizolo lomchamo.
DR: khokha ngoba sewukhumbula ukuthi bewudlani izolo(likhokhe iphoyisa libone ukuthi libhayizile futhi phela lemali liyayifuna libuye futhi)
PHOYISA: dokotela nginekinga yokungaboni emehlweni
DR: cha ngeke sikwazi ukukusiza lapho bamba naku uR5000 wakho besho bemnika uR50
PHOYISA: hawu engani ngu R50 njr loo
DR: khokha ngoba usuyabona ukuthi malini lee ……..iphoyisa lavele laqaleka

Kulondoda engangimkweleda imali yakhe, manje one day waqhamuka ezofuna imali yakhe. Ngoba ngangihlezi labantwana ngabona ukuthi ukubaleka akuyenzi ngabe ngithi abafana bangimbokothe ngebhavu, langempela bangimbokotha.
Uthe efika ebuza abafana bathi ubaba kakho.
Undoda nango ebethi ebafaneni hayi kulungile angabuya limtshele ukuthi isikhathi sesiside engikweleda sengibona kungcono ngithathe ibhavu yami.

Ngishaya i joke instead of Haha u react ngo love
Awsahleki sufuna mina phela wena
Mayyeeee Thixo!!!

Whites: Pass me that ear buddy. My ears are itchy.
Blacks: Nxxx awungiphe usiba lwenkukhu lapho yazi kune ex yami engihlebayo.

Just because they said
une baby face akusho ukuthi umuhle..
Bakhona abantwana ababi aswell😑

UCocacola angayifaka iAlcohol ku2L wakhe inkinga inina eniyothi meseniphuzile nidelele nitshele uBheki Cele. Futhi nina!!!

A baby mosquitoe had just had his first day lokutinyela abantu, ntambama his father askd: ‘How was yo 1st day in the real world son?’ Baby mosquito: “It was fanta-bulous dad, everyone was clapping hands for me!” Dad: “Son, every1 was trying to kill you.” MORAL: not every1 who laughs with you is a well-wisher, do not trust every cute smile.

Whites: I’m a breadwinner at home 🏠
Blacks: Udla mine.. Ukaka mine.. Ubhodla mine.. Ugcoka mine

When your girl introduces you to her bestie…
°° °° °°
Uvel’ ubon’ i-straight, uvele ubone umshado, ngish’ uMa wey’Ngane !!!

Bamba la ngsekhathi uNkulunkulu edala ilanga wayenenhloso ngalo yokuthi lizokhanyisa nsuku zonke emini,nangempela ukuze sibe nokukhanya emini ingoba ilanga lisuke likhona.
Engfuna ukubambeke nakhu ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi lalidalelweni nsuku zonke ilanga emhlabeni liyasikhanyisela,noma kungaba namafu kodwa ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi kufaneke liphume likhanyise,noma izulu lingaduma libe nezimvula ngeke ulibone ilanga lithi awuthi ngphindele emumva ngoba liyaduma kodwa liyaqhubeka ukusikhanyisela.

Lalelake ilanga alishintshi noma kukhona amafu amnyama esbhakabhakeni Ngeke ubone sekusebusuku emini.
Umuntu kuphela emhlabeni othi mayefikelwe izikhathin zobumnyam ezinzima bese elahla ithemba,umuntu kuphela othi uma edibana nezingqinamba empilweni bese ekhohlwa ukuthi wayedalelweni,futhi umuntu kuphela othi mayehlangana nabangani,noma nabantu abahlukahlukene emhlabeni bese ekhohlwa ukuthi kambe mina ngfunani,khumbula ngithe ukuba khona kwamafu amanyama emkhathin ngek lokho kwalenza ilanga labuyela emumva ngoba liyazi ukuthi kumele lisikhanyisele.

Mtaka baba nawe bengthanda namhlanje sengathi ungalibuka ilanga bese ucabangaka ukuthi kulobobumnyama ohlangene nabo,noma lezonyembezi,lolosizi obhekene nalo aluzanga ukuzokushabalalisa impilo yakho kodwa luzokubheka ukuthi mangabe sifike empilweni yakho ngeke ukhohlwe yini ukuthi ufunani,khumbula ngthe mina noma imvula ina,noma izulu liduma kodwa ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi kambe emhlabeni ngangizokwenzani liyaqhubeka likhanyise.

Namhlanje ngthanda ukukhuluma nawe ulahliwe,ushonelwe abazali bakho bonke,ukhala izinyembezi umsebenzi ungawutholi,usufake ama Cv yonke indawo kodwa ungaphenduli,ngzokhuluma nawe waliwe uphoxwe umuntu obumthanda,ngzokhuluma nawe eskoleni kungacaci kahle,omakhelwane bekuhleba,bekubukela phansi,ungenayo imali yokudla,ungenamuntu ongakhalela kuye,bekuhleka,bekhombisana ngawe ngamakhanda bethi uyagula unegciwane,sebekushilo ukuthi ngeke uthole umshado kodwa namhlanje ngfuna ukuthi uthathe lesikhathi esincane bese ubuka phezulu nasemhlabeni ukuthi akukhanyi yini.Ngithe kuwe isimo noma sinjani ilanga elibhekene naso alikhohlwa ukuthi emhlabeni kumele kukhanye,nawe ngane yakwethu ungavumeli izimo ezenzeka empilweni yakho ukuth zikwenze ukhohlwe ukuthi ufunani.

Ziyashintshashintshana izimo ngaphansi kwelanga uthole kunamafu amnyama,liduma,lina kodwa lona lilokhu likhanyisile…. nawe noma zingashintshana izimo phezu kwalowo mzimba wakho ungakhohlwa ukuthi yini Ofuna ukuyizuza empilweni