Dear Debonairs,

Bengicela nitshele abasebenzi ukuthi ngicela basike equal pieces ngoba siyaxabana uma sesidla namagenge.

Ave nibhora uma senizi-like(la) kuqala, nisenza abantu ababi.

Mina i-mop ngiyifaka kayi-one emanzini ngi-cleane 4 room yonke

Ngithe sengiwuhlubile ubhanana etekisini, uma ngiphakamisa amehlo nasi i-sticker esibhalwe: “Musa ukudla emotweni njengemfene.”

Ngithole i-call from a car tracking company, bathi imoto yam i-outside the province! Bangibuze ukuthi ngabe yimi yini oyishayelayo, ngivele ngakhushukelwa i-BP same time.

Yimi lowaya ngithwala izandla ekhanda, ngadonsa amaguzu ami ngayobamba itekisi ngibheke e-police station. Ngafika sengihefuzelisa okwengulube, angisakwazi nok’khuluma. Ngithi ngichaza udaba athi u-captain: “Yehlisa umoya ndoda, bese uchaza kahle.”

Anginike amanzi, ngiphuze. Ubuye umqondo ukuth no maaan, anginamoto mina! Ngingumahlalela. Ngikutshela ukuthi ngibuye sengibuya ngeveni yamaphoyisa.

Kumele ngibuyele ensangwini, uyazi bengi-right ngizibhemela.

Kunzima ukungabi nogogo othakathayo, abantu bavele bakudelele nje.

Ngifuna umuntu owazi ugesi, onesitifiketi, ikhadi lami leValentine engalinikwa ngibuya kwi-conference alisakhali.

Dudlu ntombi! Angina-Polo Vivo, angina-GTI kodwa ngine Wi-Fi endlini yami. Amaqanda ang’wabali, ungaphohloza noma amangaki. Ngiqome ntokazi!

Selokhu ngayeka insangu, sengicabanga izinto ezijulile.

What if February usho ukuthi feba unga-worry?

Phakathi komuntu wakho nekhansela langakini, ubani onamanga kakhulu?

Ukujola nami kumnandi ngoba uthola i-comedian, uhlanya kanye ne-porn star, all in one person. Ngiyi-combo kahle kahle

My neighbor bought another kind of chicken, something that runs while you are still spraying sneakers.

*Imagine seeing your Ex Wyf in her new boyfriend’s car with your child, then your child sees you and shouts “Daddy futsek”*

Xhosa women with anger management issues.
Mlungisi : Babe, why kanti ama Panty awakho eshile ngaphambi?
Nojwarha : Khawutye impundu wethu uyeke iPanty etshileyo awuso sicima mlilo kaloku, sunduqhela kakbi rhaaaa

“Ngizokuthanda kuze kubuye uJesu.”

Nivele nihlukane kungakabuyi ngisho umalume oseGoli.

Wabhodla uSisi wase-Ladies House etekisini, salindela ukuthi uzothi: “Excuse me.” Wavele wathi: “Ncuz’ebhodlayo, ncuz’esuthi, ncuz’eKFC, ncaaa nkosh, ninenkingoooon?”

Sisale sibambe ongezansi.