Women Stop Acting Like Men , Being A Man is Not Easy 😥😟 ..
Can You Wear 1 Jean For 5 Days ?

When you at Shoprite and someone asks you
“Sorry my Sister, You Work here?”
Just Know, Your Make-Up is Not On Point..!

INTERVIEWER: whats your name?
ME: Hired
INTERVIEWER :You’re hired?😳
ME:Thank you sir

SA is so corrupt you even need connections to get into a relationship

Eg: “WHO gave YOU MY NUMBER”?

I used to think Jackie Chan movies were fake until
I saw a Cobra in my compound. I ran,….
my leg didn’t touch the ground.

*My friend invited me to a wedding and while sitting I whispered to a person sitted next to me:*

*ME* the bride is ugly..
*PERSON:* if you dont mind, thats my daughter
*ME:* ooh am sorry I didn’t know you are the father..
*PERSON:* idiot am not the father, am the mother..
*ME:* heeeh

“Dnt Be Angry If ur Girlfriend strts to act Weird nd crazy..
These humans use to talk to dolls and fed em real food”

My friend won a trip to China ✈.
He´s out there now trying to win a trip back home 😭😭
Guys learn to Read terms and conditions.

Wedding in America :
Invited: 100
Present at church :80
Present at reception :70
Gifts:67
Missing object: 0
Wedding in London :
Invited:100
Present at church: 90
Present at reception :85
Gifts:78
Missing object:0
Wedding in South Africa :
Invited:500
Present at church:21
Present at reception:1,505
Gifts:18
Envelops: 25
delivered dishes:1099
Missing items:20 phones, 300spoons, 10 cake knives, 1 photographer camera. Missing cans, beer, bottles of wines and whisky, kidnapping of 2 of the guests, girlfriend missing gone with other guest, boyfriend looking for his girlfriend, girlfriend looking for her boyfriend. Remaining gifts missing, fighting outside, 50chairs broken, 5tables broken, 3decoration curtains missing
Complete d rest

i dont beg anymore…
Im even gonna Cook food at my funeral Myself

I’ve always wondered why women are always slapping their heads….

….but now I remember we used to do the same to old TVs
when they were not getting proper network signal….

On A Flight James Bond Was Sitting Next To A Telugu Guy.

Telugu Guy: “Hello, May I Know Your Name Please?”

James Bond: “My Name Is Bond’ Continuing In His Inimitable Style.. James Bond.”

Then Bond Asks: “And You?

Telugu Guy: “My Name Is Rao…
“Siva Rao…
“Samba Siva Rao…
“Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…

Since Then When Anyone Asks Bond His Name He Simply Says James Bond

8 FACTS YOU CAN NOT DENY IN LIFE!!!!!!!!
1. Your eyes are the only part that you can’t wash with soap.
2. You can’t count all your hair.
3. Your tongue can’t touch all your teeth.
4. Your feet is the strongest part in your body.
5. The fools have tried number 3.
6. You are laughing because your tongue can touch all the teeth.
8. You are laughing because you feel like God has made you look superb human being.
9. You are now happy because you didn’t realise there was no number 7
10. If you know you are not fool, then you should have not scrolled up to check number 3 and 7.
11. If you want to revenge, then do this: press Like, and
Comment,”TRUE”. and SHARE

Do u remember those awkward days at school?😊😄

1.When a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem but u already answered it😥

2.When another students asks for a graph paper bt u are finished and didn’t see anywhere it was required 😥

3.When the invigilator says skip question 6 we wll fix it later but it was the question u enjoyed the most😀

4.When question 1.5 says use answer of 1.4 to answer this question but you didn’t know the answer of 1.4😲

5.When ppl are using rulers and u are wondering whats going on 🤔

6.When u hear ur friends arguing after exams whether the answer was 35.5%or 36% but ur answer was 25000……

I look at some people sometimes and ask myself
“Who will kiss this one