when some people are snoring,
you would swear that a truck is passing by.

If women would just keep quiet, there won’t be any problem in any family.
.
A *wife* & husband visited a farm, they saw a bull having sex with a cow. The *wife* asked the farm manager:
“How many times does a bull have sex per day?”
Manager replied: “6 times or more a day”.
*Wife: looks at her husband and says…..” you see!”
Then the husband asked the manager: “You mean 6 times a day with the same cow?”
Manager said ” No, No, with different cows everyday.”
Husband looks to his *wife* and says ….
“you see!!!!”
And the fight started !!
Who caused the fight???
�…
PLEASE DON’T ANSWER 🙈 it’s gonna cause another fight

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ….

Stolen:

I sent R1000 to a wrong number using ewallet

After realizing this, Icalmed down and sent him/her this text message:

“Hello Dear, I hope you got the membership welcome fee of R1000 to our Satanism Church. We are glad and looking forward to having you with us.

That is just the beginning of the richest life you are about to start living. We hope you are as excited to be joining our church as we are. As I just said, that is a
welcome salary.

We are having a meeting tonight whereby we will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the start of this month. Please invite over any female person you may be close to. Lets meet tonight at 8pm at YOUR PLACE.

If you haven’t shown any interest in our church and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send the money back to this number otherwise welcome to our Church. See you tonight.”

10 Minutes later, I got a message saying send another R1000 my friend is also interested’.

I fainted, people are so broke these days.

Italian Relationship:
1st day= Sex
2nd day= Sex again.

French Relationship:
1st day = movies & kiss
2nd day = Sex
3rd day = Sex again

British Relationship:
1 day= hangout & kiss
2nd day = kiss & hug
3rd day= kissing, hug and smooching
4th day = sex and more sex

American Relationship:
1st day= Date
2nd day= Hug
3rd day= Hug again (warmly)
4th day= Kiss
5th day= Long kiss
6th day= Sex

African Relationship:
1st day= Toast
2nd day= Toast
3rd day= Toast again
4th day= Agree
5th day= Date
6th day= Date again
7th day= Date again with three of her hungry friends or cousins.
8th day= Date & Hug
9th day= Tried to peck but failed.
10th day = Peck
11th day= Tried to kiss but failed.
12th day= kiss
13th day= Long kiss
14th day= Tried to have sex but failed.
15th day= Tried to have sex but quarrelled
16th day= Didn’t talk to each other
17th day= Malice till the next day
18th day= The man called but the woman didn’t pick
19th day= The man called, the woman picked and asked: “what is it?”
The man apologize and the woman replied: “Leave me alone, am not that type of girl”
The man continued to beg till the next day.
20th day= The woman accepted the unwarranted apology
21st day= Hug
22nd day= Long hug
23rd day= Kiss
24th day= Long kiss
25th day= Tried to have sex but the woman complains that her phone is bad. Guy promises to buy her a new one.
26th day= Tried to have sex but the woman said until he buys the phone
27th day= Tried to have sex but the woman asked: “where is the phone? U are not serious, call me when you are serious”
28th day= Rape.
29th day= Police case.

BEST WAY TO PROPOSE! u tek the gal to the sea. U make her get into a boat. U take the boat to the midle of the ocean. U kindly say, “Marry me or leave my boat”