Sex on the Sabbath*

A man wonders if having *sex* on the *Sabbath* is a sin b’cos he is not sure if sex is *work* or *play.* So he goes to a *priest* & asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the *Bible,* the *priest* says, “My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that *sex* is *work* & is therefore not permitted on *Sabbath.”*

The man thinks: “What does a *priest* know about *sex?”* So he goes to a *minister* who, after all, is a married man & experienced in this matter. He queries the *minister* & receives the same reply. *Sex* is *work* & therefore not for the *Sabbath!*

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a *Rabbi,* a man of thousands of years tradition & knowledge. The *Rabbi* ponders the question, then states, “My son, *sex* is definitely *play.”*

The man replies, *”Rabbi,* how can u be so sure when so many others tell me *sex* is *work?”*

The *Rabbi* softly speaks, “My son, if *sex* were *work,* *wives* would definitely make their *maids* do it for them.

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks the lady,
‘Do you have a vagina?’
She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman,
‘Do you have a vagina?’
She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.

The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice,
‘Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again.’

The next morning they hear a knock and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice,
‘Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where the bastard is going with it.’

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question;
‘Do you have vagina’?
‘Yes, actually I have one,’ she says.

The man replies..
‘Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours?’

#husband fainted#

These are some proverbs in African Nations.
1. The anger of a penis doesn’t destroy the vagina.
(Zimbabwe)
2. There’s no virgin in a maternity ward. (Cameroon)
3. A child can play with it’s mother’s breasts but not with
the father’s testicles. (Ghana)
4. The man who marries a beautiful woman and the farmer
who grows corns by the road side have the same problem.
(Ghana)
5. When you see a woman sitting with her legs open, never
tell her to close them, because you do not know her
source of fresh air. (Ethiopia)
6. He who says that nothing lasts forever has never tried
Hausa perfume.(Nigeria)
7. The only woman who knows where her man is every
night is a widow. [Togo]
8. An erected penis has no conscience. (Uganda)
9. If you go to sleep with an itching anus, you are sure to
wake up with smelly fingers. (Kenya)
10. The day a mosquito lands on your testicles is the day
you will know there is a better way of resolving issues
without using violence.(Kenya)

Angry wife: “I should have married the devil,he would make a better husband than you.”
Hubby:”they would have arrested you!!marriage between relatives is illegal in this country. “😂😂😂😂 DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME

Gone are those days when women cry over breakup ….
Nowadays once u leave they will be like “Neeeeeext

So, I decided to visit my friend in the
surbubs:
Question: “What would you like to drink …
fruit juice, soda, tea, milo, chocolate, or
coffee?”
Answer: “Tea please”
Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea,
honey bush tea, ice tea or green tea?”
Answer: ” Ceylon tea please”
Question: “How would you like it? Black or
white?”
Answer: “White please”
Question: “Milk, whitener, or condensed
milk?”
Answer: “Milk please”
Question: “Goat milk, camel milk or cow
milk?”
Answer: “Cow milk please.”
Question: “Milk from Freeze land or
Afrikaner cow?”
Answer : ” Afrikaner cow please.”
Question: ” Warm or cold?”
Answer: “Warm please.”
Question: “Full cream, low fat or fat free?”
Answer: “Umm … I’ll rather take it black
please.”
Question: “Would you like it with sweetener,
sugar or honey?”
Answer: “With sugar please.”
Question: “Beet sugar or cane sugar?”
Answer: “Cane sugar please.”
Question: “White, brown or yellow sugar?”
Answer: “Just forget about the tea. I’ll have a
glass of water instead please.”
Question: “Mineral or still water?”
Answer: “Mineral water please.”
Question: “Flavoured or non-flavoured?”
Answer: “Hey f**k man! Just get me water
from the river… I don’t want to know which
river, and stop asking me too many
questions.

In A bus Today
`
`
Conductor: Nice dress
☆
Lady: Thanks!
☆
Conductor: Nice earrings
☆
Lady: Thanks
☆
Conductor: Nice Lipstick
☆
Lady: wooow thanks
☆
Conductor: But still you are not looking beautiful

3 common lies from guys:
I’m sorry,
I love you,
I won’t hurt u.

3 common lies from girls:
I’m fine,
I’m not mad at u,
I don’t love you.

Have you noticed when a rich guy posts something on fb. They all rush to comment, “its true boss” or “you are right boss” even if it doesn’t make sense. But for those that are not rich like me,we have to be extra funny or making a lot of sense just to get people’s reactions.
My brother, its not easy to be poor.trust me

In a “Mental Hospital” of 38 patient’s, a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Dr: “Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;
(a). a teaspoon,
(b). a glass,
(c). a bucket,
and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

Journalist: “Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.”

Dr: “No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39.
We will start further investigations on you!”